I WAS TAKEN advantage of by a man whose job requires him to protect innocent people like me.
However, I did not report his crime against me to the police because I felt that with his high-profile position as against my menial job, no one would believe me.
It would just be my word against his, and I know people would try to make me look like the liar because that is how people with connections operate in this society.
There’s another reason I am keeping what happened to me a secret too. You see, there is a gentleman I talk with who is very interested in me. For the last few years, he and I have been friends and he is very kind to me. He never once tried anything underhand, though he has suggested we should become involved.
This gentleman treats me with respect, and I want to get to know him better before I become intimate with him. Therefore, if I report what happened to me, the scandal may drive him away, and I may lose my chance for real love.
My friend knows nothing about the other man, and I dare not tell him either as he may believe that I was lying to him for the last few years, when I wasn’t.
The truth is, before I met the man who “unfaired” me, I did not have sex for ten years. I was tired of going with men who seemed nice at first, but turned around and used me. I was tired of the lies and deceit from those men. I was tired of getting hurt and feeling powerless.
I wanted to take control of my life, so I made a decision that I would not have sex with anybody. I figured if a man really wanted me as his woman he would work hard to gain my trust, so that when I eventually gave myself to him he would appreciate me. That was what I did with my gentleman friend.
As for the bad man, I met him when I was out shopping. There was something about him that attracted me, so we exchanged phone numbers. After that we would call each other and talk. Eventually I went out with him, then went back to his house.
It was there that he forced himself on me. I did not want to do anything, but he was too strong and eventually got his way. As I didn’t have relations for ten years and because he overpowered me, he tore me up.
I cried so bad that night that he became frightened. He apologised again and again and told me how he wanted me to be his woman as he realised I was special. But I didn’t care about what he was saying then. I was in pain and at the same time felt ashamed at losing my dignity to him in that way.
He took me back home that night telling me all the way how sorry he was for doing it, and how he would prove himself to me if I just gave him a chance. But I didn’t want to hear him.
After that he called a lot, but I did not take him on. Then he just dropped out of sight and stopped calling. When he did that I started to call him, but he never had any time for me. By then I realised that I wanted this man because there was something about him which appealed to me.
A few months later, and after only a few chats on the phone, I saw him at a function and I went home with him so we could talk. Again, before I knew what was happening he was all over me, and then forced himself on me. Thankfully, my body was more prepared and he did not damage me as he did the first time.
But I got vex again and said nothing to him as he drove me home.
A few days later I called him and arranged to meet him. I was determined that I was going to tell him off. As far as I was concerned, any man who does that to a woman has no respect for her at all – and he had done it to me twice.
When we got to his place, he brought out two glasses of wine. I began sipping mine while talking with him. After a few sips I got really dizzy and I began to feel drowsy. He told me to lie down.
But when I caught myself, I realised he had done something to me as he was cleaning me up. He never used a condom and that had me feeling even worse because he could have given me an infection or I could have become pregnant.
Three times alone with this man, and three times he took advantage of me. I felt so foolish at putting myself in a position where somebody could do this to me three times, especially when there was someone else who showed me that he cared.
I think women need to be aware that there may be more men like this bad man out there. I want women to be careful with what they drink when they go to men’s homes or go out with them.
He may be doing this to other women, and because of his senior rank he knows he will be able to get away with it. (NA)
