by SANKA PRICE

QUITE A FEW PEOPLE feel trapped in their relationship.

And most of them, it seems, are women.

This is the conclusion one can deduce from the responses to our question: Do you feel trapped in your relationship? And if so, why?

What came through from our survey, albeit an unscientific one, was that in spite of the advances women have made through the years, there continues to be a body of females whose dependence on their partners keep them vulnerable and insecure.

It is primarily from within this group – which, based on responses, seems to span the social and economic range – that females expressed thoughts about feeling trapped in their relationships.

All but five of those who texted, called or e-mailed explained that because of their inability to make ends meet on their own, their desire to have their children grow up with their father, or fear for their own physical well-being if they left their relationship, they found themselves in a no win situation – hence they felt trapped.

Their comments said it all.

"I don't make enough money to take care of my bills, the children and myself so I have no choice right now," related a mother of four.

"I can't leave because I have no place to go," one said.

"I am trapped until the kids get older," said another.

"I grew up without a father and it was hell with the different men in my mother's life. One even tried to rape me. I have two daughters and I am never going to put them through that. So as much as this relationship is going nowhere, at least they have a father who loves them," yet another female said.

Then there were those who said that given their emotional investment and in two cases, financial contribution as well, they could not just walk away from their relationship.

"It's not that easy to start over again. I am not a young woman. Then I have to look at all the money I put in the house, the most was his, but still I can't walk away from my labour," said a 52-year-old mother of three.

A seemingly young woman wrote: "People always say if someone is being unfaired, you leave them; [but] it's not quite that easy . . . . I feel I've invested all my body, soul and mind into this relationship; I need to leave but I can't. Either way it hurts too much and so I am trapped in this relationship."

And, of course, there were those who made it clear that their happiness came first, so they would leave any relationship where they felt trapped. Three people, among them two men, responded like this.

"I liked the girl, but at the end of the day it is all about me . . . . When I walked away from that I got peace of mind," said one man.

"A lot of women don't leave because of children and money, [but] no one is worth my happiness, so when I did not like how it was going I got out."

The following are a few of the comments received:

l "I do feel trapped in my relationship; it is choking. Our kids love their father very much and he loves them as well and the three of them are very sad when the two of us aren't together, so I am trapped until the kids get older."

l "I don't exist when I try to talk; he does not want to hear. I think that's my cue to leave but I love him so much I don't know if I can."

l "I don't love him [and] sex between us is drab, but he is a good man and father and owns his own home, so that's it."

FOR next week, tell us: Is life with your partner boring? If yes, what would you want done to improve it? If no, what do you do to keep it interesting? Text or call in your answers to 262-5986 or
e-mail, sankaprice@nationnews.com.