FROM THE TIME I was a young adult, I did not trust a lot of people.
This problem was created out of a situation I went through following a very bad relationship I had while I was a 17-year-old girl. I had a boyfriend who was four years older than I and he encouraged and enticed me to have sex with him. I felt that we were committed and trusted him. I felt that we would have been together as a couple for ever after and live a life of happiness and joy. But that was not to be. He quickly left me after we had sex a number of times.
To make a bad situation worse for me, he clearly told two of his very close friends of what had happened. I found out because the sister of one of these guys was a former classmate of mine and she told me that her brother said he knew when and where his friend and I had sex. I felt humiliated and hurt and despite her trying to comfort me that it was normal and natural I could not deal with that type of letdown.
This was a double blow for me. First, the relationship did not work out and secondly he told someone. In fact, how I knew he had spoken to another guy about the intimate relationship was one evening while at the River bus stand this fellow told me he knew I no longer had a boyfriend and he was interested in me.
He then said he knew I was no longer a virgin as this guy had had the opportunity to be the first to sleep with me. I asked for an excuse and went to another bus which was not going anywhere near my direction. I boarded that minibus and literally went for a drive. I was overcome with grief and shame.
I somehow managed to walk the street and carried on with my life over the next six months. Then it happened again. I met a guy while waiting in the Fairchild Street bus stand. He allowed me to get into the bus and he waited for another bus.
A few days later I saw him and the queue was long. I was tired, hungry and simply wanted to get home. I came, joined the line. My shoulders dropped and my face clearly had a frown on it. He beckoned to me to come to where he was. I went more out of curiosity than anything else. He indicated that I could have his place if I was in a hurry to get home. I reluctantly thanked him for his generosity.
I still did not know his name or anything about him.
About three weeks later while on my way to work I did not get a ride as I usually did on mornings. By the time the bus got to my stop it had standing room only. I got in as I needed to get to town.
About three minutes into the ride a lady touched me and told me someone at the back of the bus wanted me. I waited until the next stop and tried to ease my way into the back of the bus. I did not want my clothing crushed or to be rubbing against other passengers making myself hot and sweaty.
To my surprise as I moved through the bus a hand touched mine and when I looked there he was telling me I could have his seat. I could not embarrass him and thankfully accepted the seat with a smile. He placed his backpack across his shoulder.
When we reached the city I said to him our chance encounters were all very nice and I wondered whether he knew me from Community College or watching football with my sisters. He said no, he had just seen me on a few occasions and thought my smile captivating. I just seemed to be a pleasant person, he told me.
I told him my name and he told me his as well and where he worked. I was surprised the following week, a Wednesday to be exact, when he asked me what I was doing after work the coming Friday and if I was not busy then he would like to invite me to dinner. He said he did not have a car but we could go to a restaurant within our bus route. We went to Rockley, Christ Church. We talked, I got to hear about him and I told him a little about me.
He was actually just over a year younger than I and indicated he had been saving to buy a car.
We went back to that same restaurant the following two Fridays. We enjoyed a good relationship. The following week he told me he would be having a little celebration and he would meet me by the restaurant. I turned up and he was there. When we were finished he said he would take me home; he had bought the car.
It was about three weeks later that he asked me to go by him. I was surprised when I met his relatives who are so mannerly and well spoken.
It is now nine months we have been seeing each other but have not had a sexual relationship.
I know it is going to come up as we are both young. He is not a very religious person. I just can’t believe he is simply so nice.
I have to admit my past experiences have left me burnt. He does not have a lot of friends and is very much into gardening, plants and dogs. Yes, like any other young man, he is very interested in a number of sports.
My sister and I have actually gone by his house and parked nearby in her boyfriend’s car to watch his movements. We have gone by his workplace to see what time he leaves and followed him to see whether he is going directly home. We have spied on him on numerous other occasions. But I have found nothing damning about him.
I am going on vacation in November and he as well. To my surprise and delight he has bought tickets for us to visit one of his relatives in the United States and we are to meet up with some of his local relatives overseas for a cruise.
Yet I must confess I am afraid to be too easy and I don’t want to lose what seems to be a solid husband-to-be.
