Nation e-Edition

Can’t eat since he left me

Can’t eat since he left me

Tue, August 13, 2013 - 12:01 AM


I NEED SOMEONE to talk  to because I cannot talk to my parents. I have lost my boyfriend and I cannot sleep and eat very well since he left me.

He was everything  to me. We were going steady for six months and everything was wonderful before he met another girl.

When I asked him about her he denied  it at first. Eventually  he stopped coming to my home as often as before; now he does not come  at all.

I have not seen him  for two weeks and there  is no use in calling him,  as he’ll only hang up the telephone. He does not answer his cell either.

There seems to be nothing left. I hope  you can help me.

– L.D

Dear L.D,

I know you must be broken up inside,  but still believe in  the power of love  and believe there is someone out there who deserves your love a  lot more than this guy.

It’s not true that you have lost everything. You have your life  and your pride, in that you have decided not  to all him anymore.

I suspect you are very young and when you are, it is difficult  to believe that the grief which comes from “losing” a love one will eventually go away.  It does. Soon you’ll be looking back wondering why you were so hurt in the first place.

Give yourself time  to get over this guy  and soon you’ll be smiling and eating  as you should again.

Believe me, happiness will come.


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Posted by Rosalie Rose 1 year, 2 months ago
In the Caribbean we have practiced dating just one person and getting married to that same person, unless they leave us, of course. But in other cultures, a person dates (not necessarily sleeps with) a number of persons and then chose they one they think is best for them. If he is the type of person to just drop you like that, he is not worth thinking about. You will get over it, time still heals wounds

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Posted by Amanda L 1 year, 2 months ago
Dear L.D. - I feel your pain. As Christine said, from the tone of your letter, you sound pretty young (particularly the reference to your parents). I have been there - young and in love and heartbroken.
It will get better. Just not right away. You just have to find various ways to make it through each day and distract yourself. The temptation is to wallow in your unhappiness, to keep going over what went wrong and keep trying to win back his love.

Try as hard as possible not to dwell on it. Every time the thoughts come into your mind, make a concerted effort to concentrate on something else. Buy magazines, rent movies, watch sitcoms, go out partying (if you're old enough), hang out with your friends, go to the beach.

And remember this. Love yourself. Are you kind, are you funny, are you generous? Then focus on that and remember this. Loving yourself means choosing people who will treat you kindly. Love is not one-sided. For him to treat you so cruelly and with such cowardice (hanging up the phone, not answering his cell, sneaking around with another girl) is contemptible. You deserve better than that and his bad behaviour should not be indulged by your begging him back.

Be kind to yourself. I hope things look brighter soon.

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Posted by Nikki Jonas 1 year, 2 months ago
Consider it a blessing in disguise. Anyone that would treat you like that didn't deserve you anyway. I've been down this road before and at the time thought I would never get over it.

Nevertheless, I went on to meet a wonderful man, we are now happily married with a beautiful home, 3 kids, 2 dogs and a pet rabbit. The ex that I thought I couldn't do without, last I heard he had 5 children from different women, is unemployed, living at his mother's house and hiding from Court Marshals for unpaid child support. If I didn't let go of the doomed relationships I would not have my beautiful family today.

All this to say that everything happens for a reason, and who knows, when you look back 10 or 20 years from now you might be saying thank God it happened like this.

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