Dear Christine,
I am writing this letter in response to L.S. whose letter appeared under the headline He’s Enjoying Life Without Me, in the DAILY NATION of April 16. Here is what I would like to tell L.S:
Dear L.S.:
I am not going to beat up on you, because I’ve been there as well. The problem is we care more about the men with whom we get involved, than we do ourselves. You are a young woman, and maybe this is your first love. I totally understand where you are coming from; I have been there too.
When I left my parents’ home I thought I knew everything. I had a job and money in the bank. I knew what I wanted and what I wasn’t going to accept from anyone. I was feeling wonderful and my self-esteem was at its highest.
Well, that went south pretty fast when I met my first love. He was a charmer and he thought he was the most handsome man on the block. The truth is, he was. He was also just like this man you described, and he pretty much did everything you stated.
If it wasn’t for my mother’s teaching and guidance, I probably would have been a citizen of Her Majesty’s Prisons Dodds. He too brought a woman into our bed and she made it her business to let me know about it. Actually, she came by the house gloating, just as I was moving out.
I wanted to say something to her but my friend who was helping told me not to give her the satisfaction. Plus, I wasn’t about to let them take away my freedom.
I thank my mother daily for her guidance – she saved my butt from a prison cell; not because of him sleeping with her, but because she said they did it on my clothes.
I don’t know what your mother taught you, but you need to put this man out of your apartment. One, or all of the women with whom he is enjoying good times, can house him. He’s not showing you any respect. In fact, he crossed the line when he brought another woman into your home. You don’t have to stand for that. It’s your apartment, not his. The nerve of some men!
Don’t let being alone bring your spirit down. Living alone is not bad at all. A matter of fact, it can be a wonderful experience. It gives you time to appreciate you and to find out who you are. Pamper and love yourself in the meantime.
Don’t let anyone belittle you and do not worry about those women who went to your apartment. What goes around comes around. They may be calling you names now, but their turn will come. When it does, I hope they remember what they did to you when it is happening to them.
– Mrs Spiegel
