Dear Christine,
Thank you for the time you give to me and the space in your column. I am hoping to get some good advice from you.
Sometime ago I dated a guy and as a result I got a bad reputation. One of the things he did was encourage me to drink. It became a problem and got completely out of control.
We broke up and some eight months later, I met another guy who helped me with my drinking problem.
He was so good and kind, until my first boyfriend started scandalising my name. He told him all sorts of lies about me.
I really love this present boyfriend very much, but my first boyfriend has placed him in a position where he does not trust me. He is so much against me that now when we have a quarrel, he calls me names and curses me.
One night he told me he feels dirty making love to me. Christine, I felt so bad, I wanted to kill myself.
It hurts me to know he does not trust me when I have done nothing to deserve it. We broke up, but now he is saying he wants me back.
Love can turn you so foolish that I am willing to accept him even though I do not think I should. Christine, I seek your help in making a decision.
– L.P.
Dear L.P.,
First, you need to love yourself more. Why would you decide to end your life over someone who ill-treats you and talks down to you?
My wish for you is that you’ll find the courage to send both of these men packing.
It must have called for some courage on your part to turn away from the life you were leading (drinking and whatever caused you to lose your reputation).
Your second boyfriend seems no better than the first and you should not put up with accusations that you know are not true. If he cannot put the past behind and treat you with respect, then show him the door.
He himself would have to be a “nasty” character to go with you when he feels the way he says he does, when he’s made love to you.
It’s time you turn your back on anyone from your past who is only trying to drag you back to it and even further down. Put your past and them behind you and respect yourself.
– CHRISTINE
