DEAR CHRISTINE: Is my husband old-fashioned?

Mon, June 11, 2012 - 12:00 AM

Dear Christine,

To many, my husband would come across as old-fashioned and to some extent, he is.

He simply won’t accept the fact that our 23-year-old daughter has been living with a young man more than a year.

When they come to visit, my husband rarely speaks to the man and insists that I put them up in separate rooms – even though I know they both end up sleeping together.

What is really dreadful is that my husband is not only angry and hurt about our daughter’s behaviour, he gets angry with me when I mention that this is not unusual.

Will he ever change?

– W.C.

Dear W.C.,

I believe your husband has lived most his life with certain moral values that he also practised and still does. I don’t see him changing these values. It is not that he hates the young man but the fact that he is not married to your daughter. Chances are your daughter has approved of the living conditions without any fuss and this too is a bother to your husband who wants better for his child.

Living arrangements such as these tend to be more difficult for fathers who are possessive of their daughters and want the best for them.

The number of unmarried couples living together increases every day, and this is causing some parents heartache – especially those who grew up with the belief that a man and woman should only live together after they are married.

Your daughter is doing the “in thing”, but this does not make it right in your husband’s eyes.

As you know here in Barbados, the Common Law Act provides some security for couples who share each other’s possessions as long as they have lived together five years or more.

Allow your husband to stick to his values and respect him for having them.

– CHRISTINE