DEAR CHRISTINE: Marriage about sharing, caring
Tue, May 01, 2012 - 12:00 AM
Repeatedly, I see written in this column, cases where men are constantly cheating on their wives or the wives are cheating on their husbands.
Most people seem to be of the view that no marriage is perfect and can ever be perfect – that two people cannot live together in harmony and love.
I beg to differ. I am sure that there were countless men and women who have never cheated on their spouses. People who have been faithful providers, ministers, mothers and fathers.
Yes, we live in a sinful world, but didn’t God Himself ask us to be holy as He is holy? If He knew this could never be possible, He would not ask this of us.
Christine, I am a 73-year-old father of six. I have been married for 55 years and I have never cheated on my wife. We have always had a wonderful union.
We met in church when we were both virgins and when we married two years later, we were still virgins.
This foolishness I hear about not buying a pig in a bag is straight from the pit of hell.
And to hear ministers of the gospel preaching this is a grave sin, they will have to answer God for. They are leading people straight to hell.
My wife and I have had challenging times – particularly with raising our children, but we never despaired. We knew we were united to face whatever perils we had to as a team.
I will tell you what is one of the problems with marriages today – people have become selfish. They are married, but want to live as though they are single. The husband wants to live his life and the wife wants to do her own thing. It should be about team work.
Due to their bad experiences, they later tell young people not to look for husbands or wives. What are they to do? Are they to fornicate all the days of their lives?
This is a sure way to enter hell. Older people should be telling the younger ones that sex outside of marriage is wrong and they should keep their bodies pure.
My wife and I spent countless times as individuals praying to God about finding a partner and we know it was Him who brought us together.
Look throughout the scriptures and you will see how people prayed for their partners. Not so today. People are moved by their lust and their fleshly desires.
They fail to seek God, the creator of marriage.
Let me tell you, Christine, marriage is wonderful, but too many people just think only about sex. That is not all that marriage is about. It is about sharing a life together with the person you love, understanding them and really caring about every aspect of their lives. It is about commitment.
God don’t like divorce, but today divorce is rampant – even in the church. Why is this so? It’s because people are not taking time to pray and seek God’s face about choosing their partners.
It’s like building a house. If the foundation is not strong enough, the house will fall when a strong wind blows.
Many marriages do not have strong foundation; people do not understand what it means to forgive, love, respect and cherish their spouses till death does the parting.
Christine, I can go on and on, because my heart is broken when I hear about the breakups and the divorces, when I see people living together without consummating their relationships in marriage and when I hear husbands and wives talk about their cheating spouses.
Our bodies are not ours. Each of us has been bought with a price through the death of Christ and, one day, we will have to give account for the lives we live here on earth.
Christine, I will end here. I hope the words of this aged man will help somebody or some couple along the way.
May God bless you and your readers!
– Minister P. Alleyne
Thanks for your letter. I will not attempt to add or take away from it, but I would admit that I endorse what you have written.
I hope your letter lights the pathway of many.
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