Dear Christine,
I am getting married in a few months but there is something that is very much on my mind.
About five years ago when I was still very young, I had an affair with a married man who has since left the island. The man I am getting married to has not asked me if I am a virgin; we have never had sex as we both decided to wait until marriage.
This has nothing to do with religious beliefs. We are not Christians, even though we attend church, but we just wanted to wait until we were both married to engage in sex.
I love my husband-to-be and do not want to cause him any distress. There is no possibility that my past lover will turn up and since we were discreet about our affair, I am not in the least bit worried about what other people may say.
Do you think it would be deceitful not to tell my husband-to-be?
– P.E.
Dear P.E.,
How can it be deceitful not to dig up your past? Has your husband-to-be asked you any questions about your past relationships? Has he divulged any information about his? If there is a bridge to cross, do so when you get to it.
Try very hard to put this matter out of your head. It is not in your best interest to bring in the past. Forget those things which are behind you and look forward to your future life with your husband-to-be.
Whatever happened to both of you before you met each other is your private concern; unless of course, you both agree (simultaneously) to discuss those aspects of your lives.
– CHRISTINE
