Dear Christine,
My name is BA and I am writing to let the 21-year-old young woman who wrote to you recently about her cheating boyfriend know that she’s not alone.
Like her, I have given up on men too. I have put up a roadblock.
Christine, I am 38 years and consider myself a friendly person with a good heart. However, my boyfriend of four years cheated on me even though I was faithful to him.
There are some good things about him; he pays the bills, gives me a lot of money every month, and because of that I’m well off. He helps with the cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing. He even washes and cleans my car.
We do everything together. He says I’m his “queen” and that he loves me so much. At night when I come home from work he would rub my feet. He was good to me.
One day I came home early from work and caught him with a woman in our bed – a bed he purchased for us. [When she realized that I had caught her], the woman jumped through the window and ran off. I was mad and hurt. I felt like killing him that day.
He was a good man, but he cheated on me. Why? I don’t know. He said he needed help because he could not say what made him do what he did. He told me he still loved me.
He is now asking me to give him a second chance. Christine, I do not want him back. Sisters out there, check up on your “faithful, good loving, sweet, nice men”. They are all cheaters and liars.
If they say they are going out, follow them. When they say they are going to work, check up on them. When they are home alone, go back home unannounced. If they say they are going to visit their mother, follow them.
– FAITHFUL BA
Dear Faithful BA,
I understand your hurt and disappointment, but not all men are the same. I must point this out to you in their defence.
However, there is nothing wrong with your making the decision to move on and forget the pain you’ve suffered as a result of this man’s unfaithfulness, but do not allow that to make you give up entirely on men.
Also, while we all need to be cautious, not all “sisters” out there will want to spend time following and peeping about behind their husbands or boyfriends.
In addition, some men need to step up to the “plate” and raise their standards when it comes to relationships. Always remember that they do not start affairs or “outside” relationships by themselves.
Most of the time, a sister just like you is involved. So while we are asking men not to cheat on their wives and girlfriends, women also need to leave the men who are in relationships alone. It takes two to tango and “the other woman” must always share the blame for the pain she causes another sister.
I wish you the best for the future.
– CHRISTINE
