EDITORIAL: Conflict resolution

Sat, January 28, 2012 - 12:00 AM

The family dispute that ended in the shocking death of a brother this week gives cause for further concern about conflict resolution in Barbados.

In the absence of scientific data to prove just how high the figures are for disputes that end fatally, one can easily recall fatal instances of two best friends clashing over a coconut bread and another youngster being struck with a stone over a pittance lost by someone else in a gambling game; and each time such incidents occur, especially among young people, society is left wondering: where have our problem-solving techniques gone?

In the interim, someone loses a son, a father, a sister, a friend, and the society is poorer for the vacuum left where that person’s contribution, talent and sheer presence should be.

Against the backdrop of the recent Alexandra impasse, Barbadians are also seeing that conflict, in any circumstance, will leave some kind of loss behind.

And while the loss in that particular industrial dispute may be nowhere nearly as tragic as that which occurred at Country Park Towers on Wednesday, several people will be affected in some negative way.

As has been the comment from all and sundry in the last three weeks, the biggest losers in the Alexandra School case will be the students. But one of the spin-offs will be their ability to cope with their own personal conflicts after having been caught – not “dragged kicking and screaming” – between a raging “family” battle of their beloved teachers on one side and their beloved principal on the other.

Prime Minister Freundel Stuart, who himself has said that his priority in this dispute remains the students of Alexandra, must now be acutely aware that those same students and other youths across the island’s school system are still looking on.

They also know the problem has not yet been resolved; so it is absolutely essential that all parties involved send neither the wrong messages nor any potentially damaging signal to these impressionable minds.

If the final resolution bears even a hint of disadvantage or lack of fair play, it could leave in its wake hundreds, nay thousands, of angry, confounded minds which would have received mixed messages about conflict resolution and would also be bringing their individual interpretations to it.

The long-term result? Angry young men and women whose mixed emotions will only be lightly veiled, possibly lasting into adulthood.

If such anger is not addressed early or is left to multiply across a generation of those affected by how they see their parents, teachers and other authority figures resolving conflict, it will not bode well for Barbados’ future. By the same token, good problem-solving skills would be one way to improve their self-esteem.

It is our view, therefore, that such skills be given greater emphasis within the school system, so that inevitable conflicts can be resolved by Barbadians without the fallout that we’re seeing in homes, schools and workplaces.

As best-selling behaviour therapist and author James Lehman says, “you can’t feel your way to better behaviour; you have to behave your way to better feelings”.

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Posted by Tony Webster 3 months, 3 weeks ago: Or, as our fore-parents equally aptly put it: you have to give children “brought-upsy”. Or live with the results of defaulting on such a duty. The really scary issue which gives me cold sweats, is the prospect of these morally-undernourished kids, when grown, raising their own kids in their own image. Once morals, manners, language, a spiritual foundation, and similar things which make us human, are not passed on properly to the next generation, we are in trouble. Even if errant parents throw this obligation onto the shoulders of out teachers, it’s a more-or-less permanent loss to our core values. That’s why I once found myself, (as an adult) sitting in front of a principal’s desk, begging for “a chance” for a young relative who carried a pair of scissors hidden in his back-pack “for protection”…and heard the principal say to me: “I’m supposed to teach, but most of my day is spent dealing with matters like this”. When I left his office, with student and his mum in tow, another nine parents were waiting outside. May God bless the folks at PAREDOS, and similar entities, who try mightily to take up the slack.