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Fed up with hubby’s porn addiction

Fed up with hubby’s porn addiction

Tue, September 10, 2013 - 12:01 AM

Dear Christine,

MY HUSBAND AND I met in 2001, moved in together in 2003, and married in 2006.

He’s wonderful in almost every way, but we’ve had some huge problems due to his need for sexual attention.

Right after I moved in, I found he had a lot of porn, plus dozens of girls and women (ranging from teens to women in their 30s) on his contact lists.

There were photos of some of them nude and clothed. I thought all this was over in 2005, but he was still getting calls from women and going into the bedroom to talk privately. He has also been talking to his ex-wife and trying to get her to have phone sex with him (she told me and he admitted to it).

For the past year he has been watching porn every morning on a particular site, where he has several favourite women. He then tries to delete the history. When I found out, he said he liked them because they looked like me.

Christine, they look nothing like me. He also said he only went there because I’m usually too tired for sex due to caring for our six-month-old son. I am tired, but we still have great sex two to three times a week.

He’s been extremely devoted since I got pregnant, aside from the everyday porn, but since he tries to hide that, I wonder what else he may be hiding. I really want to keep our new family together if possible.

– P.C.

Dear P.C.,

You’ve got a serious matter on your hands, as it seems your husband is a real sex addict.

Some may believe that as long as a married man isn’t physically involved with another woman, he is being true, but that’s not always so.

In your case, he is still cheating on you and is as dishonest as if he were actually having a physical affair – and only God knows if he is.

What is even more disturbing about your case is that your husband has attempted to have phone sex with his ex. He needs help, and I mean lots of help.

It is possible that caring for a newborn can rob both of you of a more active sex life but from what you’ve written, your husband seems to want his fill on a daily basis. I believe he needs to be more caring and understanding.

If you are finding it hard to speak to him about his addiction to porn, see if he would be willing to speak to a counsellor.

– CHRISTINE

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Posted by Carl Harper 7 months, 2 weeks ago
"He’s been extremely devoted since I got pregnant, aside from the everyday porn...."

Your husband could have been out drinking, getting drunk, coming home in the wee hours of the morning or not at all, being verbally and physically abusive, or on cocaine or heroine.

You admitted that your husband is "extremely devoted" but he has likes his porn. I am not sure if you are looking for the perfect man but everyone has a vice of some kind. At least you know what is your husband's weakness.

Some men hide a do and kinds of unsavoury things without their wives ever finding out, including visiting Bush Hill at nights and being on the down-low.

Just leave you husband alone with his vice before you lose him altogether.

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Posted by Mr Psychotic 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Of all the lines I've heard, to justify porn, this is the best:

"When I found out, he said he liked them because they looked like me."

Porn addiction is difficult to overcome; I wish her every success.

  • 2
Posted by daneale o'neale 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Women always think they can change an apple to an orange.she went into this with eyes open shut,he never hide,it was there from the start,now wa ya harping bout.go love ur man.

  • 13
Posted by Orson Arthur 7 months, 2 weeks ago
That s what happens when you watch pron.
He has become addicted. He is getting sex
three times a week and complaining.
He could change. Just stop. It can be done.

  • 8
Posted by Orson Arthur 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Carl Harper what kind of advise is that.
That is a sad excuse. I don't get sex three times a week and have been married for forty three years.
If the husbands are out doing these kind of things it
means there is a problem. He is addicted and he should be treated. That is not the way to live.

  • 9
Posted by dirtyokra two point o 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Christine you told this woman that her husband is cheating cause he watches porn. How many women out there watch porn too? Really though. This is the type of thing that makes a man really go out and cheat. How could you put that BS in that woman's head? GET REAL PEOPLE. I really think Bajans live in a dream world. Where pigs have wings and dogs talk back to you. NO ONE is perfect. Understand that. Everyone has a vice. Be happy that your husband has his in check. @Carl Harper made an excellent point. You have 90% good and 10% bad and your complaining?......100% good doesn't exist dear and any woman who claims it does is single and still looking for him.

  • 19
Posted by dirtyokra two point o 7 months, 2 weeks ago
@Orson Arthur. You've been married 43 years maybe that's why your not getting it 3 times a week anymore. Lol. With all due respect Mr. Arthur I congratulate you on 43 years of marriage. Marriage is not an easy thing. That being said. 3 times a week isn't really that much. I would say once a day and twice on weekends would be sufficient. Back in the day people repressed their sexual desires or just cheated. Should this man not be able to express his sexual desire to his wife without fear of being judged? Why should he repress himself?

  • 0
Posted by Ann Lewis 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Is good he is addicted to this and nothing else but I still would feel that I'm not enough if he is looking at others!!

  • 1
Posted by Terri Hoyte 7 months, 2 weeks ago
I'm a woman who watches porn when I feel like it. It does not control me, nor does it affect my relationship. I don't think the porn is an issue, however the phone sex with the ex is, why doesn't he have phone sex with you instead and of course the other women are a no no. The porn not so much.

  • 1
Posted by Billy Vibes 7 months, 2 weeks ago
Here's a thought...how about you watch it with him?

*GASP! The horror right? I can hear the collective gasps right now.
Or ask him what he likes, and try it with/for him. He just might stop this "addiction" and become "addicted" (in addition to devoted) to you.

  • 0
Posted by Billy Vibes 7 months, 2 weeks ago
And I'm sorry - if sex three times a week is good for YOU...

It is not for me.......

LOL

  • 1
Posted by Leonard B 7 months, 1 week ago
In recent days I have had the opportunity to discuss this article and some of the blogs with various friends and acquaintances. I learned lots of very interesting things!! I am amazed at the very high number of couples who admit to watching porn together, and, they find it to be stimulating and a boost to their intimate relationship. I think that Billy Vibes has the right idea, join him in the porn arena. His wife should offer to watch porn with him and she should steer the selection of movies to "couple friendly", away from male oriented, wham-bam thank you ma'am stag types. Life may change significantly in that household and the wife may find that their relationship reaches a new level of mutually enjoyed physical and emotional satisfaction. LB.

  • 0
Posted by Ann Lewis 7 months, 1 week ago
@ billy - are you saying sex 3 times a week isn't enough???

  • 0
Posted by Ann Lewis 7 months, 1 week ago
Totally agree Leonard!

  • 0
Posted by Billy Vibes 7 months ago
@Ann Lewis - 3 times a week is not enough....

  • 0

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