Dear Christine,
MY HUSBAND AND I met in 2001, moved in together in 2003, and married in 2006.
He’s wonderful in almost every way, but we’ve had some huge problems due to his need for sexual attention.
Right after I moved in, I found he had a lot of porn, plus dozens of girls and women (ranging from teens to women in their 30s) on his contact lists.
There were photos of some of them nude and clothed. I thought all this was over in 2005, but he was still getting calls from women and going into the bedroom to talk privately. He has also been talking to his ex-wife and trying to get her to have phone sex with him (she told me and he admitted to it).
For the past year he has been watching porn every morning on a particular site, where he has several favourite women. He then tries to delete the history. When I found out, he said he liked them because they looked like me.
Christine, they look nothing like me. He also said he only went there because I’m usually too tired for sex due to caring for our six-month-old son. I am tired, but we still have great sex two to three times a week.
He’s been extremely devoted since I got pregnant, aside from the everyday porn, but since he tries to hide that, I wonder what else he may be hiding. I really want to keep our new family together if possible.
– P.C.
Dear P.C.,
You’ve got a serious matter on your hands, as it seems your husband is a real sex addict.
Some may believe that as long as a married man isn’t physically involved with another woman, he is being true, but that’s not always so.
In your case, he is still cheating on you and is as dishonest as if he were actually having a physical affair – and only God knows if he is.
What is even more disturbing about your case is that your husband has attempted to have phone sex with his ex. He needs help, and I mean lots of help.
It is possible that caring for a newborn can rob both of you of a more active sex life but from what you’ve written, your husband seems to want his fill on a daily basis. I believe he needs to be more caring and understanding.
If you are finding it hard to speak to him about his addiction to porn, see if he would be willing to speak to a counsellor.
– CHRISTINE
