Giving up gay lover for a woman

Thu, July 19, 2012 - 12:01 AM

Dear Christine,

I am a 30-year-old who was gay up until recently. I thought I was very happy with my life. Now, I am really freaked out and confused because I suddenly realized that I am a latent heterosexual.

I know now that my strongest inclinations are in that area.

Unfortunately, this revelation came to me six months ago after my male lover and I bought a house and spent a great deal of money furnishing and decorating it.

I respect him and would not want to do anything to hurt him. We are both successful professionally and knew each other for a while before we got sexually involved. At that time I was inexperienced with women and only recently began to notice them in a sexual way.

I am now in love with a woman who works with me and we are in tune with each other in every way.

She knows about my situation and while she is not pressing me, she wants me to share an apartment with her.

My male friend has no inkling of what is going on. – R.P.

Dear R.P.,

A little bell started to go off in my head when you said your male friend does not know about your relationship with this woman. I am just hoping that you’re not having relations with them simultaneously.

You must give up one for the other. This means, from what you’ve written, that you must face your male friend and let him know the score.

Change is part of life and you should not be locked into a pattern that is uncomfortable and wrong for you.

Tell this man what has happened and let him know your feelings of respect for him. If the same thing happened to him, wouldn’t you want him to be free to be true to himself?

Stop beating around the bush. Free yourself from those chains. If you think it will make things easier, maybe you can confront him with your female friend at your side.

I’m sure that legal issues concerning the purchase of the house could be worked out.

– CHRISTINE

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Posted by Mr Psychotic 10 months, 1 week ago: Wahloss....well this is a rare and unusual one. He now realises that he is a latent heterosexual? After living with a man and buying a house? I really want to see what readers will say about this one. Not sure if confronting the man with the woman by his side is the way to go, though.

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Posted by Pan Wallie 10 months, 1 week ago: A brainless female in a triangle, but love is so blind! A murder? perhaps a homicide-suicide in the making? Gay boys don't appreciate certain toys.

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Posted by Linda Smith 10 months, 1 week ago: @Christine "Stop beating around the bush ..."

LOLOLOLOL Was that a Freudian slip?

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Posted by c holder 10 months, 1 week ago: I'm not convinced about your true orientation and neither are you.
A man who is heterosexual is not sexually attracted to men and a homosexual man is not sexually attracted to women.
That is why those definitions exist in the first place and you are what you are.
Maybe you only want a credible excuse to leave your current relationship.
Take some time to think and be very honest about your motives or this will end badly for all involved.