Friday, April 19, 2024

Gone tuh the dogs

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RECENTLY, I come across two very interesting articles in the NATION newspapers, both o’ dem were about dogs. One was about the amount o’ people who calling up the Animal Control Unit tuh get rid o’ duh dogs, and the other was the Acting Postmaster General Trudy Farley appealing tuh homeowners who got dogs tuh secure dem and stop dem from interfering wid the postal workers in the line o’ duh duty.
I gine be honest wid you, it was after ten at night and I was about tuh turn in fuh the night, but I decided tuh get in a li’l reading as I am way behind in my paper reading and was trying tuh catch up. But the eyes refuse tuh cooperate and before I could really get in tuh the story good, I was gone, out like a light.
The next morning, I see the paper pon the ground and the lamp was still on. So I only get tuh read the first two or so paragraphs. I would love tuh find back the paper and finish reading dat article ’cause the last thing dat caught my eye was the part ’bout the amount o’ calls they say they were getting. I think duh said about 300 so far; I cahn remember if it was a month or a week.
You could imagine dat? You could imagine people trying tuh get rid o’ duh big Rottweilers, Akitas, Dobermanns, Alsatians and all o’ dem lovely big breed dogs?
It must be real hard fuh some o’ the owners tuh part wid dem but leh me tell all o’ wunna, I think wunna making the right decision tuh part wid some o’ dem ’cause dem hard tuh maintain and does eat hear?
I ain’t mean nuh scrapings offa nuhbody plate like my sister dog ya know? I mean food from in dem big bags. Dem does eat special food if ya please; sometimes better and more expensive food than the very owner heself.
Wunna see dem chicken cages dat we poor people does line up there by the old Kentucky in Black Rock tuh get tuh boil li’l soup wid? Well duh got some people who does buy dem fuh dem dogs.
So dat is why I could understand the move dem dog owners making ’cause if duh doan do dat, things so hard nowadays dat one o’ these days the dogs gine have tuh eat the owners or the owners eat the dogs. Somebody gine have tuh eat somebody tuh survive.
I believe this is one o’ the reasons why some o’ these dogs suh vicious when the postmen and women come round. I think it is dat duh trying tuh snap off the two shoes pon the people foot, wunna think dem dogs foolish? No! Look, dem know dat after the shoes come off, good bone behind there.
Wunna gotta understand dat these dogs ain’t accustom tuh nuh scrapings like the dog my sister had. The woman used tuh gather up evahthing from evahbody plate and all ya used tuh hear was ping-a-ling, ping-a-ling, ping-a-ling, dat would be her raking dem in the yard in front o’ the dog.
Dat dog wid the chain round he neck and tied tuh a fence, would eat evahthing and look fuh more too. Although she thought differently, he ain’t had nuh kinda breeding at all.
I got another sister too, just like the other one; she had a dog who used tuh eat like a paro and still look like a scarecrow. He had a piece o’ chain round he neck, under a tree attached tuh a fence.
She eventually had tuh get rid o’ dat dog because as she say, he would eat and she wouldn’t. So one gine have tuh go and it wasn’t going tuh be her, so the dog went.
Look, in this day when things suh hard, while a dog might be some kind o’ security, mekking the postmen and women miserable, he is another mout tuh feed.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.

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