In 2014 health-wise, the “corn curl crew” should be monitored more diligently. Last week we read about how a wise parent took her corn curl apprehension about these villains to the Minister of Education.
This week these yellow villains descended on the road opposite the Government analytical laboratory to picket the area. They wanted to further brainwash parents into packing them into the lunch boxes of children. The protesters could be heard chanting: “We dread and yellow and we ain’t care about a fellow.”
However, what captured the chief analytical officer’s attention were two shocking placards which read: “MSG – monosodium glutamate – and partially hydrogenated cotton-seed oil are here to stay.” and “We don’t care ‘nuttin’ about Caribbean silent doctors.”
This caused the chief analytical officer to immediately summons his best officers and herbalist to conduct research. Immediately an officer raced down stairs to borrow a package of corn curls from an unhealthy worker to check the labelled ingredients. Unexpectedly, the task force was called in and they quickly whisked two of the foolish corn curl protesters into the lab.
On placing the first villain on the table for analysis of the ingredient named “partially hydrogenated cotton-seed oil”, one of the officers fainted because the findings were disturbing. This caused major chaos in Bay Street because of the publicised findings about hydrogenated cottonseed oil and trans-fats.
However, the ignorance of the next corn curl fugitive was beyond anyone’s understanding. He immediately jumped on the laboratory table to be tested.
The chief officer then whispered to his herbal colleague: “You like you right yeah. These corn curls have me scared.” Suddenly, the lab door flew open and one of the officers who was looking as if he had seen a ghost handed over a file labelled ‘Top Secret’. This was the findings about MSG. It was taken from the Free Online Dictionary by Farlex and credited to Sergen’s Medical Dictionary (2012).
It read: “MSG is a flavour-enhancing amino acid used in processed, packaged and fast foods, which is an excitatoryneurotran smitter and neurotoxin.”
It also revealed that toxicity includes headaches, heart palpitations, skin flushing and tightness of the chest.
Abrupt wailing and mourning filled every corridor and room on that compound. The grim discoveries about the “unhealthy snack” truly upset the workers. A promise was made to disseminate more information about healthier snacks, filtered water and silent doctors.
As for the corn curls, they were found in fewer lunch boxes. Instead, water, golden apples, watermelon and guavas were packed as alternatives.
• Annette Maynard-Watson is a teacher and herbal educator.
DISCLAIMER:?It is not our intention to prescribe or make specific claims for any products. Any attempts to diagnose or treat real illness should come under the direction of your health care provider.
