I CONFESS – Don’t jump to conclusions
Sat, July 31, 2010 - 12:00 AM
HOW DO YOU deal with finding condoms in your wife’s purse? And how can you confront her for cheating when you once cheated on her? That was the dilemma I faced six years ago.
I don’t normally go into my wife’s purse but I needed a dollar coin, so I asked her if she had any. She told me to look into her purse.
That’s when I found a packet of condoms. I looked into it and there were only two inside; one was missing.
My heart missed a beat because she was out the previous night, supposedly at church. Could she have been with a lover, I thought?
For a few seconds I froze at the mental image of my wife with another man. I could not believe what I was seeing.
Then I got angry.
I wanted to drag her out of the shower by her hair and beat the daylights out of her. How dare she have a man on me? How dare she shame me?
Then I began to wonder who it could be that was involved with my wife. My mind began racing.
I settled on two possible people. One was her new boss whom she was always saying something good about. It could be him – after all who says good things about their boss unless they are getting some favour from them?
So it could be him. She has the opportunity to be with him and could always have the perfect excuse why she should be with him.
Or it could be Derek from her church, who she was talking to before I came along. She said they were just friends, but when I look at him I could see he dislikes me for stealing her from right under his nose.
Again she has opportunity and a ready-made excuse to be with him as they are both on the church council. That he is married and says he is a Christian means nothing, because I’m married, also supposedly a Christian, but I cheated. So why wouldn’t he?
Anger rising
I could feel my head swelling in anger. I was getting madder by the second. How could she cheat on me? How dare she?
I rushed into the bathroom with the packet of condoms as she was drying her skin. I literally shouted as I confronted her.
My sudden outburst was so ferocious that she froze in fright, dropping the towel and exposing her naked body.
Seeing her naked made me angrier. After giving birth to two children, she was still as desirable as when I first met her. How dare she share this sweetness with another man? I was boiling now!
“Is this payback?” I yelled. “Are you getting even with me now after so many years?”
I was sure her actions were in retaliation for my cheating on her about three years ago with a woman I had befriended. It was a brief fling and I truly regretted doing it because, as it turned out, that woman was no more than a prostitute who went after married men to fleece them. I was just another one of her victims.
I apologised to my wife and we had a rough few months after the woman had told her I was sleeping with her, to get back at me for quitting the relationship – something like blackmail.
But I thought we had worked that out. I genuinely thought my wife had forgiven me for that stupid move. These condoms proved she had me in mind all along, I thought. She just said the right things but was planning to get back at me all along – and now she was doing it.
My head felt as if it was swollen and was going to explode. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, as if I had just come from running on the beach.
I wanted to grab her and shake the life out of her for cheating on me. “How dare she?” I kept saying to myself.
I began screaming at her and lunged forward to grab her, but she jumped back into the shower screaming. I intended to make her pay for cheating on me and making some man laugh at me.
My shouts and her screams brought our daughter to our bathroom. My little angel was crying asking me not to “hit mummy”.
I told her that her mother was a slut. She had a man on me, and the condoms in her purse were the proof.
It was then my angel shouted that her mother had bought the condoms the night before and a visiting counsellor had used one to demonstrate to the youth group how to use condoms properly.
It was part of the community outreach programme the church was having to sensitise people about the dangers of contracting sexually transmitted infections, particularly HIV.
I looked at my daughter. Then I looked at my wife. I could not say a word. All I could do was to slump to my knees and cry.
What an idiot I was. Then I tried to apologise. I crawled on my knees over to where my wife was standing with the retrieved towel wrapped around her body. I begged my wife’s forgiveness. I begged God to help her to forgive me. And I asked my daughter to forgive me too.
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Typical Bajan/maybe other men mentality….you did it so, I did/will/have to do it also. Sorry you did not realize she was part of group trying to teach kids to do the right thing. Maybe you should have joined the class a long time ago then you would not have to be on your knees asking for forgiveness. Let this be a new meaning for you” a little child shall lead the way”.
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Comment LinkSilly man you cheat on your wife in the past she forgive you. You jump to conclusion when you saw the condom the worrying thing here was not your jealousy because we are all human any man or woman finding their other half with condoms would feel hurt at that precise moment. It was how you wanted to beat your wife and had the nerve to tell your daughter her mother is a slut. Basically you judge your wife by your past behaviour do not be surprise if your wife up and leave one day because you have an uncontrollable temper which could put her in danger from you in the future.
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Comment LinkAnd….what occured after this confrontation??!!?? Your wife is truly a christian woman if she is still in that household with you. Otherwise, i’m sure you would be despised for many years to come.
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Comment LinkI am very happy for you that you did that harm your wife. You could have been in another place today and could have left your children without either parent. Cherish your daughter always for she was your saving grace. I hope other narrow minded macho men whose only selfish interest is to be ‘Lord Gorks’ will learn from your experience.
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Comment LinkSome christian you are. You felt like beating up your wife. And called her a slut in front of your daughter, you are an animal not a man. How could she lived with such an animal like you? I get so mad when I read such tripe.
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Comment LinkThis sounds like a fictional account. The type of situation has been known to happen, but I think in this instance it is not true.
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Comment LinkFor some reason I think the daughter bailed her mum out. I just have that feeling that the condom belonged to her and she didn’t want to see her mum in trouble. Just my feeling!
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