LOVE CAN make you or break you. It can bring joy to your heart or drive you to the brink of despair.
I have suffered on both counts – totally devoting myself to someone who I thought felt the same way about me. I gave up family, friends and even my beliefs.
I met this girl who was different from any other girl I had met before. She had nice hair, a few tattoos, pierced tongue and a very bubbly personality, all of which attracted me even more.
Even though I was shy and not very experienced with women, that all changed when I met this queen. My friends and family all told me to stay away but I was led to believe that they were just trying to run my life and I did not like that. So, after a few months of dating, I moved in with her.
Soon after we were a couple she started to have back problems and although she went to therapy she could not continue to work. The loving man that I am, I made up my mind that I would work for the two of us, take on the household bills and support her.
She wanted for nothing. Despite this, sometimes she would fret at the silliest things and I put up with it because I was in love. I even sold my car to get another one that was more suited to her.
Whatever she called for, I made sure not to disappoint her. Maybe I should not have been so accommodating.
After three years together things took a dramatic turn and so did her personality. She was getting more moody, embarrassing me in public. She even caused me to part with my family and friends – my life suddenly revolved totally around her.
She even changed the look that first attracted me – going from “blonde” hair to locks to straightened hair.
And after recovering from the back problem which kept her out of work, she finally got another job, but I still paid the bills, while she spent her money on herself. She was draining me financially but I refused to see that.
After a while my friends tried to talk to me. They were telling me that she was cheating on me and was just using me to get what she wanted, but I dismissed all of them as being just jealous.
After four years together, we decided we should get married and she thought we should move into a bigger apartment. Of course, that meant more expenses for me, but that did not seem to matter to her.
That’s when things started to go downhill.
Unfortunately, I lost my job and this woman did not pick up the slack in any way. She still wanted me to provide everything although she was in a position to help with the bills now that I was out of work.
We started to argue more and more and she became distant – paying more attention to her friends than to me. This situation was driving me mad, so I decided it was best for me to move back home.
However, she wanted to stay in the apartment.
After a while she broke things off, and this shook me up. Never before did I feel so broken-hearted and used by one person.
I discovered that just two weeks after we parted she was sleeping with two guys, both of whom had girlfriends. This news left me shaken and I cut off communication with her and became withdrawn.
Looking back, I realise that I was like a puppet on a string. She used me, and made me turn my back on my friends and family and even do things to support her habits.
She put me through hell and I hate her for it.
Now I think twice about every girl that approaches me because I wonder if they are just out to use me. I tell myself it can’t happen again.
I threw away five years of my life for that woman, but I have learnt a valuable lesson and I won’t judge another woman by just her looks.
I hope I can learn to truly love someone again.
