Nation e-Edition

I CONFESS: My secret will ruin child’s life

I CONFESS: My secret will ruin child’s life

Sat, January 05, 2013 - 12:00 AM

I am afraid my past has come back to haunt me in the most humiliating and disgraceful way.

In 1988 I was a domestic worker at the home of a well-to-do family. I had been working there for over ten years. The entire family was more than generous and respectful toward me.

Whatever they had they would share with me. They trusted me around the house even when they were overseas travelling. The Joneses (not their real names) would involve me in all their family outings and shower me with presents for my birthday and Christmas.

In turn, I was always very respectful to them.

It was in the summer of 1988 that Mrs Jones had to leave the island because of an urgent business meeting. She asked that I report for work as usual since she was not taking the two kids with her.

She suggested I stay there for the three-day weekend she was away since the kids and I had a great relationship. The two children were young so she didn’t think Mr Jones would be able to manage them on his own, especially the younger child who had trouble sleeping at night.

I remember it like yesterday. It was a Saturday when the kids went to a birthday party and came home tired. I, too, was tired as I had used that time to clean and do what I could since they weren’t at home.

That same day Mr Jones invited a few of his friends over. They talked, they laughed and, yes, they drank until the liquor had to be replenished. I put the kids to bed and I also went to bed.

It still hurts so much to talk about it . . . . But I remember waking up to a male figure over me. The person put his hands over my mouth. The room was pitch black. The man whispered: “Do not scream, you know you want this too.” I could die. The voice was oh so familiar; it was the voice of Mr Jones. I cried and cried as he had his way with me.

I remember it like it was yesterday. A man I had respected for so long now disrespected me by violating my body. I felt ashamed, as if in some way it was my fault. When he was done, I got up, put all my stuff together, left their home and never returned.

Mrs Jones called and called until she realized I didn’t want to be found, at least not by them. I told no one. Who would believe me anyway? I was the hired help.

Nine months later I gave birth to my daughter. Yes, I became pregnant by that monster of a man. I do not believe in abortions and even if I did, I wouldn’t have had the money to make it happen since I was not working.

It took a while but I started to rebuild my life. I raised my daughter to be a moral woman. I never uttered a word about my ordeal to her. She thinks her father abandoned me so we never really talk about him. She is now a young, attractive woman and has a good job.  

But now I face my worst nightmare. She told me there is a guy she likes. She explained that she met him at one of her friend’s party about two years ago. She said she had been talking to him on and off since then, but it started getting serious last year.

I knew she has male friends but I give her her space. I’ll admit that at times I get overly possessive, given what I went through. She told me when they go out he takes her to his house and they are intimate. She became pregnant by a man I did not know up to Christmas weekend.

Finally, she brought him home for me to meet him. One look at him and my knees started to buckle. To my horror she introduced the Jones’ son as her boyfriend – and he was the father of her child!

My heart sunk. Both my head and belly instantly ached me. I went straight to the bathroom.

I have been sick to the stomach everyday since then. I now have to face my dark past all over again. I have to be honest with my daughter and let her know she is in love with her brother. And she is pregnant with her niece or nephew.

My daughter is the only person I love on this earth and to tell her she is involved in an incestuous relationship because I hid my past from her will tear her apart. This thing is ripping me apart!

Our lives will never be the same again. I have ruined my daughter’s life forever!

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Page 1 of 1 pages

Posted by Cheese On 1 year, 9 months ago
Talk about Complicated. Sigh! This is a tough one, you hid it but i wud have clenched & crushed his chestnuts because you lost your job regardless! But you took it & you got a child. I don't know what will happen now because they are intimate already & she is pregnant (Bim is too small if you do live here).

Just expose him, DNA tests and all because you are very unhappy since the day he raped you. You need Peace of Mind & Closure to this Nasty Man! Your daughter needs to know so she can Choose!

  • 5
Posted by J. Payne 1 year, 9 months ago
OMG, what are the odds! I'm sorry to hear that happen. To think now, your grandchild will have your attacker for a grandfather too. You can't let the grandfather be around your grandchild with no adults present.

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Posted by Jordaine Byam 1 year, 9 months ago
Same thing happened to my good friend two years ago. Her husband only confessed to having an 'outside' daughter when the girl turned up at the house to his son's 16th birthday party. My girlfriend almost had a nervous breakdown when her husband confessed to the extramarital affair and the now 16 year old daughter, who was 'dating' their son. Two years later the family is still in therapy but life would never be the same. My girlfriend claims to have put the sordid scenario behind her but I am sure she is still wondering what would have happened had her son not brought the girl to his party.

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Posted by D. Stoute 1 year, 9 months ago
Your story is very heartbreaking. In Barbados many of us are related and do not know it. We do ourselves and our children a disservice by hiding important information. Your daughter deserves to know the truth of her conception and birth. I can understand your vulnerability at the time you were raped and your feelings of having to keep it quiet, but your child deserves to know the truth. Here now she has fallen in love with her brother and is going to have his child, a situation I'm sure you wish you could change.

I think now is the time that you need to sit down with BOTH of them and explain the entire story. You cannot allow the relationship to continue. They both need to know they are related, and you need to get that burden of guilt and shame off your chest. You are the one who was wronged. There is no reason for you to feel shame. Do the right thing for your daughter.

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Posted by Janet Mayers 1 year, 9 months ago
This situation is way bigger than the three of you.Mr. Jones did not face charges for raping you,because you did not report it.You bore the pain and shame in silence and probably thought you would take the secret to the grave but God does not like ugly .Jones may never face the judicial system but this business might keep him in prison for the rest of his life. He will still blame you as he did on that night when his brain was steeped in alcohol.His wife most likely might believe him.
He might disown your daughter: DNA is available.
Some therapy will be a good idea,talk with your spiritual leader and ask God's guidance in this serious matter.

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