I CONFESS: Women lie and cheat too
Sat, June 12, 2010 - 12:00 AM
WOMEN ARE THE BIGGEST hypocrites in this country, and it is about time men stop falling for their tears, complaints and schemes, and tell them where to get off.
Each week one woman or the other complains about how a man hurt her feelings; how men always cheat; that there are no good men anymore; and that men of today have no morals or values.
Please, give it a rest!
Why does this column entertain such drivel?
What about the "horns" and "ready-made shirts" (children) women give everyday? They don't talk about that!
What about the amount of money they squeeze out of a man and when he has nothing more to give, blank him for another man? They don't talk about that either.
What about how they grab men's property for themselves and their family, though they find him with everything; and how the law works for them in this? Again, women don't talk about that.
Instead, it is just a lot of twaddle about how stink men are. It is not fair and men are getting an unfair rap.
As far as I am concerned, Bajan women need to be told in no uncertain terms that they are selfish, unfriendly and suspicious; they gossip too much and believe everything they hear, even without compelling evidence; they don't know how to really care for a man; they allow their bodies to run to fat after having a child; and they are often boring in bed because they think that being adventurous is the same thing as being worthless.
I make no apologies to anyone for having more than one woman in my life. In fact, I always let whoever I consider the main squeeze know that one woman cannot satisfy me and I will get involved with someone else.
If a woman did not like it when I told her this, she ended the relationship and I went on to someone else.
My attitude is this way because I have seen some good fellows humbled by worthless women. I, too, had my share of blows.
Figure this one: I was involved with a woman who attended the same church as I did. I really cared about her and was even thinking seriously about marriage. But I delayed things because I don't believe in renting. I told her that we could get engaged and about a year and a half later we would be able to get married as I would have the house by then.
Both of us were 24, so we had our whole lives ahead of us. All she had to do was wait.
But not her. Unbeknown to me, she was seeing another guy who went to another church. So after telling me she would think about my proposal, and putting me off whenever I raised the subject, she turned around about four months afterwards and married that man.
You could imagine the amount of talk that generated. I was the laughing stock of everybody.
As if that wasn't bad enough, you know she invited my mother and sister to the wedding, but not me. And my mother said I should be understanding about the situation as she obviously loved the man more than me.
I always felt though that she should have levelled with me from day one and told me there was somebody else that she was interested in. But no, she went out with me, kissed me a few times, but never told me she used to go out with someone else.
After the cat was out of the bag and I confronted her about her dishonesty, she told me she didn't want to wait so long to get married.
Can you believe that? Yet, women have the gall to complain that we men are heartless.
Another thing that happened when I was young and foolish was letting a woman who had a child move in with me. We lived together for nearly two years before I decided that it couldn't work. I took that decision because her child father used to harass her all the time, and she was always milking me to help some member of her family.
So when I asked her to leave, she got a lawyer to write me asking for compensation of her donation to work done on the house during her residence. To be exact, she was asking for $2 800 - which in 1981 was a lot of money. And her proof was her name on the bills from Plantations and a record of savings on her credit union.
The truth is, I gave her every cent to pay for that lumber. I did not have a bank account or credit union account in those days, so I gave her the money each week to accumulate on her account and when it was enough she withdrew it to buy the material.
She tried to convince me it was better to get a loan, but I said no to that as I did not want to owe anyone for anything when I completed the house.
In the end, I could not prove otherwise and I had to pay her every cent of that money, though it was never hers.
You could only imagine how my blood boiled to do that.
She lied and robbed me, and got away with it; and there was nothing I could do about it.
From that experience alone, I understood why some men are violent towards women. Violence isn't the right way to solve anything, but no one likes to be cheated and have no avenue for redress.
Today, that same lying, deceitful woman is a big-up in a certain church. I wonder what she tells couples when she counsels them?
I can go on and on about the wicked things women have done to me and fellows I know, but I think I made my point.
Of course, I expect a barrage of complaints from women about what I said. But that is because the truth always hurts - and women can't stand being told the truth about their behaviour.
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The thing is that whatever happened to you served you right because you stupid men like women like that, that are going to use you and lie and cheat on you. When you come across a decent woman, that will take care of you, cook, wash and keep the house and the children clean, what do you do, you cheat on her with other women and sometimes men, disrespecting her to the fullest. So when you meet up on the gold diggers who can’t cook and spend all your money in the salons, you fall in love and end up like you and your friend. Serves you right. By the way I am a woman with a job and I buy and pay for my own things.
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Comment LinkBro thank God you are alive to tell your story. A lady from the country stabbed he guy 39 times when he caught her with a man in the house. There will always be bad PEOPLE, but we need to evaluate early and leave the bad alone and try with the good, there is no guarantee of happiness to perfection. You still sound bitter ????? Liven up, go to the gym or learn music, it will sooth your soul…..life is very short to let other people’s opinions and actions dictate youe life. My research on most churches now, is that of the proverbial dancehall, where you go to find a woman, so forget the church and stick to God, he is always at home, that is, your home…. Talk to him and he will respond…..Good Luck
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Comment LinkAs human beings, we should never generalize, because everyone is not the same.
I am a woman, and i have NEVER COUNSCIOUSLY HURT A MAN. I have always treated the man I am with, with love, respect, and understanding.Yet I was hurt more than once. I WAS LIED TO AND CHEATED UPON. But, I did not allow that to destroy my future. That is because I ALWAYS LOOKED AT MEN ON AN INDIVIDUAL BASIS, instead of generalizing.
Today, I have a wonderful husband, who himself was hurt by other women, but who did not allow that hurt to get in the way of our relationship.
So folks, START LOOKING AT PERSONS INDIVIDUALLY AND DO NOT ALLOW YOUR BAD EXPERIENCES TO NEGATIVELY AFFECT YOUR LIVES.
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Comment LinkMost Caribbean women are greedy/ selfish/ evil/ they were taught by their MOTHERS-they have no love in their hearts at all, they abuse they men, and I really think this behaviour comes from slavery. FEAR THE WHITE MASTER-but destroy the father of your first born. why are so many BLACK men in prison? because it is easy to controll the single mother/ that way you controll the next generation….did i hear somebody say AMEN.
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Comment LinkThis is according to the article that women also cheat.Women are made to depend on men and if a man is not financially stable then they should not take any commitments on women because as it has always been said THERE IS NO REAL LOVE WITHOUT MONEY.If a man cannot maintain the basics of a woman there should be no need taking her as yours.
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Comment LinkRegarding the post that started this whole discussion. I will say they are “VERY FEW” Bajan women who won’t fit into that category but honestly the vast majority don’t know what they want, are hung up on the past, out to use men to get something from them, afraid of commitment or a combination of all. I’ve seen time and time again when women have a good thing going and they figure they could get something more from another guy to realize they made a mistake and try to come back to what they had before. Personally out of 9 Bajan guys that I know got married… 6 of them married non-locals and 3 married locals ....all 3 failed while the others are going still. One of those 3 have remarried a non-local (over 20 years now). Then the next thing you always hear is “he went and marry that woman… he couldn’t find somebody here??” So in the end we get the bad end in the relationship and then when we find happiness elsewhere they’re still not happy.
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Comment LinkAlthough I dont agree with this man’s current lifestyle, I must admit that I agree with some that he has said. Realise though, that not all bajan women are what you have described. What was done to you in both instances was heartless & just plain wrong. Sadly, this woman abused the justice system to her benefit but let God handle her. His vengeance is like no other - Trust me. I think you have been blinded by your experiences. PLEASE leave the past behind. You may be robbing yourself of a great relationship with a good woman who truly loves you - don’t allow the past to dictate your future. You seem intelligent; Move on, forget the idiots in your past & give true love a chance.
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Comment LinkWith reference to JULIANA comment of a man should have money to engage a woman…... First of all, men usually marry and maintain women of lower social and educational backgroung than their self, they also help women financially who need it without conditions. Under no circumstances will ANY WOMAN in a superior position to a man ever bend down to lift him up, yet we are labelled dogs etc. Our own black women maintain this status qou, yet when we migrate and become successful and marry white women, we are castigaated on our return, if only for a vacation.
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Comment LinkAfter being through hell on this earth, the best confession I can share is the one of forgiveness and charity. I hated, plotted and planned revenge and in doing so, only delayed time, in which I could have moved on and enjoyed life with someone else. Finding the key to unlocking self pity is the key to forgiveness. I will not criticize or advise, but we all have to find our own paths to learning forgiveness, we all have to find our own keys to self pity. Today, I was able to say to the one I love that I feel good, my mind is clear and peaceful. It is reflected in my self esteem and there is a glow on my face which makes me beautiful.
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Comment LinkThe writer of this article fails to understand that the reason why he, in his words, makes: “No apologies to anyone for having more than one woman in my life”, has absolutely nothing to do with him being mis-treated by women and everything to do with his male privilege and sense of entitlement. Being non-monogamous and “wutless” is not an automatic consequence or reaction to being mis-treated. Nothing a woman does to a man can change the moral code of behaviour which he has set for himself.
The writer has a huge sense of male entitlement and ideological hatred towards women that he needs to get over. He would have inherited these complexes LONG before any woman screwed around on him.
P.S. I haven’t read all the comments yet, so my apologies if this was said already.
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Comment LinkOh, and if every woman the writer meets is always so devious and scheming perhaps he should ask himself why he always attracts or is attracted to that type of woman. Perhaps the problem is with HIM.
“The truth, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars but in ourselves.”
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Comment Link@ IROC #13: Didn’t it ever occur to you that the same white women that you marry when you migrate overseas and “become successful” would not even look at you twice if you had not become successful? The same way you can castigate black women for daring to marry up, why don’t you castigate white women when they do it too?
And in the cases when white women DO marry you when you are beneath them economically, often times they view your colour as a form of currency, thus in their eyes they are still marrying up. And men DO NOT marry and maintain women without condition, as you stated. No human relationship is unconditional especially the romantic ones. Whether the woman is younger, of a certain skin tone, or adheres to a standard of beauty considered valuable in society, men ALWAYS choose to partner with women under certain conditions that benefit them as men.
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