Nation e-Edition

I’m going to stop my cheating ways

I’m going to stop my cheating ways

Thu, December 27, 2012 - 12:01 AM

Dear Christine,

 AS I APPROACH the end of 2012 and look forward to the future, I have a confession which I need to make.

You may wonder why I am choosing to do this in public. Well, I believe there are many men out there like myself who have cheated on their wives, lied and treated them in the worst way and who, like me, are now sorry.

My wife and I have been married for over 15 years and in those years I have had many lovers.

In fact, it’s almost as though I never got married. My wife is one of the sweetest, trusting and religious persons you could ever meet.

Two years into our marriage, she became a born-again Christian. I never cared about religion and never even bothered to go to church with her, at any time. We have two teenage children and to the outsider, we enjoy a quiet, peaceful life.

I took my first lover just about a year into my marriage. This woman lived overseas. We met during one of her visits to the island and our relationship lasted for two years. During that time she visited the island on six occasions, as I would never travel to see her; she was the one pursuing me.

When that relationship finished, I started another one with a woman ten years younger than I was. That relationship lasted for just over a year.

Within months I was into affair number three. My wife almost found out about this woman when she found a lighter in the car. I do not smoke but I was able to convince her it belonged to one of my male friends, even though the lady’s name was engraved on the lighter.

My fourth relationship lasted the longest – three years. I travelled overseas with this woman and went home late most nights – after convincing my wife that I had to travel on business and was spending late nights out with the boys.

I tried convincing myself that this woman was the one I should have married. I gave her everything she needed but discovered all too late that she was seeing someone else behind my back. She reasoned that since I was married, she was free to do as she pleased even though we were in a relationship.

Christine, there were other women. In fact, the last relationship ended only three months ago. That’s when I looked at my life and decided I could not continue to cheat on this wonderful, faithful woman who believes in me, looks after our children well, and is a devoted mother and wife.

Christine, she does not deserve me – a husband who has been unfaithful all these years.

I have made up my mind to remain faithful to her; to be a committed husband and father to our children. I have even decided to start attending church with them, as they possess a peace which I currently do not have.

Each year people make all kinds of resolutions. Christine, what I have decided to do, these are my resolutions.

I want to tell both husbands and wives that cheating does not pay off. You live with the guilt and condemnation that you bring on yourself.

 Even when your spouse is not aware of your unfaithfulness, you’re the one who has to keep looking over your shoulder, wondering if the person you’re having an affair with will one day spill the beans.

Cheating does not pay in any way. It saps you of energy  I hope that my letter will cause more husbands and wives to stick to their partners and resolve to live clean, honest lives in 2013.

Happy New Year to all! – J.P.

 Dear J.P.,

There is not much I can say other than I am so glad you’ve seen the light and decided to change your lifestyle.

I wish more people who find themselves in similar situations would also turn their lives around and do the right thing.

I take this opportunity to wish you and your family a very prosperous and blessed 2013. – CHRISTINE

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Posted by Carl Harper 1 year, 10 months ago
J.P: "I believe there are many men out there like myself who have cheated on their wives, lied and treated them in the worst way and who, like me, are now sorry."

Listen buddy, you are the cheater and wrongdoer here. This is your confession and soul purge. You're on your own. Stand up like a man and take responsibility for the wrong you have done to your wife. Don't try to drag other men along with you. When we are ready with our own confession we will do so.

If you have suddenly had an epiphany and some sort of moral awakening, we knew long ago that "cheating does not pay in any way" and the only person you need to tell that to is yourself, and not the public.

Now do the honorable thing; confess to your wife and ask her forgiveness. She just might give it to you.

  • 7
Posted by Mary Yearwood 1 year, 10 months ago
Well, Mr. Harper, you sure gave me a chuckle today..."Listen buddy, ..... Don't try to drag other men along wih you. When WE are ready with OUR own confession we will do so."
Am I right in presuming that you 'resemble' that remark, Mr. Harper? Your third paragraph was also hilarious...Not that the content is funny at all, but the fact that you have revealed, for all to see, that it struck a special chord with you is what did it for me.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family.

  • 1
Posted by Carl Harper 1 year, 10 months ago
Happy Holidays to you too, Ms Yearwwod.

There is nothing in what I said that resembles me (laugh). I have been good boy all year. Santa even brought me a present.

  • 0
Posted by Mary Yearwood 1 year, 10 months ago
Good save, Mr. Harper. Glad to know that you were so good that even Santa brought you a present. Thanks for the holiday greetings. My gift to you is a FREE subscription to Bajan Diaspora Online, at, a publiation which will link Bajans from all around the globe. God Bless.

  • 1
Posted by Ann Lewis 1 year, 5 months ago
Sounds like you were having your cake and eating it. You been there and worn the T-shirt now ya ole and tired and ya wife still standing by you. Everyone else gone!

  • 0

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