As soon as I become Prime Minister, them got some things that I putting a stop to, and all who don’t like um could leave.
Firstly, I gine work on keeping as much foreign currency ’bout here as possible, so that gine mean cutting back on imports, and the first import I cutting back on is hair. Yes, ladies, (and some of you men) you heard me right. However, exemptions would be given to those with medical issues.
You see, we got to save money and I was checking the statistics. According to the Barbados Statistical Department, we imported close to $2.5 million in hair last year. This was made up of human hair, wigs, eyebrows and eye lashes.
My thinking is this: you were born with hair, so use that. If you wanta wear a wig, well cut the hair from under your arms, accumulate it over a period of time, and get somebody ’bout here to make a wig for you. That way, we keep foreign currency at home, and create employment for somebody.
Wunna know what is two and a half million dollars in hair? One time only old women used to wear wigs. Now these young people got the old girls can’t get a wig. As soon as these girls get out of diapers them rushing for wigs and weaves.
And them got some hair ’bout here selling more expensive than house spots. It so bad now that girls does rent out them hair when they ain’t wearing it. Hair got in money. Burglars does break in houses and pass the flat screen TVs and computers and only thief hair.
Plus, we got men in Barbados complaining. Them live in a house with a woman for over ten years, and ain’t know what her real hair look like. When them first met, the woman was wearing braids. When she move in she had on a wig. When them get married she had on weave did all like now she wearing braids again.
And some women spend the whole day getting them hair braid, pay a wash pan o’ money to get it done, then the same evening you hear them complaining that the person plait them hair too tight, them getting headaches so them gine take it off. So all that money burn up.
On top of that, them got women ’bout here bragging that when them come from the hairdresser with them fancy hairdos, that all bedroom percolations cease until the hairdo has run its course. So if the man want li’l action, he better get it before them go to the hairdresser, or he got a long wait.
And what is this thing with false eyebrows? One time women used to get a eyebrow pencil and fix up things. Now all of a sudden we are importing eyebrows. Even if your face as bald as a egg, and you as ugly as sin, a eyebrow pencil used to work.
Then we got the mock eyelashes. Many women believe that the longer the better, so them eyelashes so long them look like brooms and when them blink you could feel the wind from the eyelashes.
Women got on eyelashes so heavy that them could hardly get their eyes open, and when them blink them eyes it sound like a car door slam in?
So yes, as PM, I banning the importation of hair, and I stopping Days Of Our Lives too, I ain’t sure how long I would last though.
See ya.
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?E-mail: madderic@hotmail.com
