DEAR CHRISTINE: My partner was stealing from me

Tue, July 24, 2012 - 12:03 AM

Dear Christine,

After living overseas for a number of years and ready to retire, I came home for a six-month break and to see about acquiring a property.

On that occasion I was introduced to a very pleasant man who was separated and living apart from his wife.

When I returned in 2009 we quickly started to live together.

In a matter of months things started to go missing from the house where we were staying but there were no signs of a break-in.

Items like cutlery, a sandwich maker, an ice-bucket – all wedding gifts from my previous marriage, saucepans, fruit bowls and a brass crucifix from the wall in the bedroom also went missing.

On different occasions I asked him if he had left or lost his keys anywhere. He said “no.”

I also asked him if he was seeing anyone else, and again he said “no.”

[Interestingly enough], nothing belonging to him has ever been taken. I was glad when everything with my solicitor was finalized and I moved into my home in February 2010.

Now, my clothes are being taken. A blue jacket that I wore to my daughter’s wedding; vitamin tablets from the dressing table, ornaments that were gifts from my children when they were little – have all gone missing. I called the police station to get some advice and two officers came but there was no break-in, as I have grill bars on all the windows and doors. There is not a lot they can do.

I hope you can offer some advice. At this time I have asked him to go.

– M

Dear M,

If you have already broken off the relationship and asked him to leave then you are two steps ahead of me. That would have been my advice to you.

All fingers seem to point to him. Judging from your letter I am not sure what time would have been spent getting to really know this man who seems to have slippery fingers.

Are you sure he has no keys to gain access into your home? If he has had keys at any given time you must now seek to change the locks on the doors.

If things still go missing after that, you need to pay much closer attention to who you are letting into your home.

– CHRISTINE