Partner may be hiding something

Dear Christine,

I THOROUGHLY ENJOY reading your column. In fact, I read it every single day. This is the first time I am writing to you and I certainly hope that you’ll be able to help me.

I have been seeing a man for the past two years and I can never ever go to his home unless he takes me there. In fact, he only takes me there after work and I never see him on weekends. If I ask him about visiting his home, he always says he has friends dropping by, he has a meeting or he has to go out.

He calls when he feels like it and most of the time it is on mornings when he reaches work. If I go by his home after work, by 7 p.m. we are both leaving for him to take me home.

I am not usually an individual who makes checks on my partner, but I decided to do so by turning up at his home without informing him. When I did, he came to the door practically half-naked and told me his son’s mother was visiting. I asked him if I could return later in the evening but he told me he had to go out and would call me before he does.

Christine, his son is 17 years old.

I know her and she knows me. Why would he have to turn me away if she turns up? I personally doubt very much that it was his child’s mother at the house.

Christine, this man hates me to go anywhere where I am likely to meet anyone. That’s why he ensures that he picks me up from work, or he’ll call at a certain time each night to make sure I am home.

I’ve told him I will leave him because I do not like the way our relationship is “so set”. He says if I do I will not even live to regret it.

Please tell me what to do.

 – V.H.

Dear V.H.,

I hope you are aware that this man has threatened your life. As a result, you must make an official complaint to the police.

I see no reason why he wants to control your life, especially if he does not want you in his home and disappears from sight every weekend. Obviously, you are not the one and only.

Since you are not bound to him by children, there is absolutely no reason why you should not be allowed to walk away from this relationship at your own speed.

If you continue to make yourself so readily available, walking away will be hard. So you’ve got to make up your mind and walk away despite his threats. In fact, now would be a good time to make different transportation arrangements to get to and from work.

Once your mind is made up, make that complaint to the police and say goodbye to this “part-time” lover.

– CHRISTINE