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SECRETS CORNER QUESTION: Possessive and jealous over friends

Thu, September 02, 2010 - 7:09 PM

Please help a fellow reader by answering the following: How can I convince my partner that there is no need for her to be so possessive and jealous about my relationship with my female friends, whom I knew years before I met her? Share your advice or personal experiences on this matter by calling or texting your comments to telephone number 262-5986, or e-mail us at sankaprice@nationnews.com (SP)

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Posted by blessedwoman 1 year, 5 months ago

How can I put this nicely? You can’t ever convince her of that. She has to either believe it for herself or she will eventually isolate you from all of your friends or drive you into the arms of another woman. Save yourself the stress of a controlling woman. Tell her now that this is not going to work if she doesn’t start trusting you.

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Posted by Carl 1 year, 5 months ago

Many women say that they prefer male friends as opposed to friends of the same sex. However, when a man has female friends, wives or girlfriends are usually jealous and accusatory. They want to peek at your text messages and listen in on phone calls. It’s almost like they believe a man’s only relationship with a woman must be sexual. That is so far from the truth. I have female friends who are just that – friends!

Most times my female friends want to talk about their failed or failing relationships with other men, or just laugh about the funnier side of life. At no time do we ever cross the line to think we could be sexually involved.

Wives and girlfriends might have been socialized by mothers and aunts that men are such “evil creatures” that when they enter relationships, it is difficult to develop trust in their partners. Their insecurity tends to be the limiting factor in the marriage or relationship.

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Posted by G 1 year, 5 months ago

As long as honesty remains rare in relationships people (both men and women) will be tempted to peek. Do you read Dear Christine? The number one lie people tell: “he/she is just a friend”. Do you blame her for feeling anxious? Consider how you behave around your female friends you may be making her suspicious. Trust is not owed, it must be earned. Most of us say we will NEVER snoop in our lovers business but no one wants to be taken for a ride either.If you were in her place would you be suspicious?

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Posted by :) 1 year, 5 months ago

What was the reason that made her begin to feel insecure, yes, you have had these friends before she came along but has she ever got to meet any of them as well as did you get to meet any of hers? Maybe she saw something between(1) or more of your friends to make her feel jealous. Are you giving more of your time to them than to her, do you always seem to laugh and have more fun with them than with her, these are things that need to be addressed. Have her talk about her fears and insecurity where you are concerned, maybe she needs to open up a bit more or she has been hurt in past relationships and still has that fear of letting go and trusting. These things can ruin a potentially good relationship if not discussed and worked through. Communication is important

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Posted by Jennifer West 1 year, 5 months ago

The woman is insecure and obviously has baggage from past relationships.Maybe she doesn’t feel safe being a ‘partner’ and would prefer to be a wife! Don’t do it! She needs to build her confidence. Has she got any male friends, true male friends? She’s judging you by her standards or the standards of the other males in her life. Get her counselling or leave her, she will drain you!

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