THIS IS TO LET WOMEN who have been used and discarded by men know that no matter how careful you are about who you go out with, you can get fooled.
It happened to me and I was and still am very cautious about who I deal with. I never believed in casual sex and always sought a relationship with a man who was responsible and had a sound head on his shoulders. Yet for all my carefulness I got dumped.
Now I am all alone, and it hurts.
I am so tired of coming home to an empty house.
I’m tired of cooking a meal, then having to sit and eat it all by myself.
I’m fed up of having no one to cuddle up with in bed at nights, or to make love with early in the morning before heading off to work.
I’ve had it as well of going out by myself or in the company of a female friend, when I would prefer to have a man – my man – at my side.
But I think I am doomed to be alone for the rest of my life as I find it difficult to trust anyone anymore. What’s also working against me is that men seem unable to handle me because I am too straightforward and don’t stand for foolishness.
Before I was hurt, my two boyfriends told me that I was too demanding and had no sense of humour – and for them that was a huge turn-off.
Too demanding
They told me I was too demanding because no man could tell me he was coming by me, for example, and not give me some idea of what time he was coming.
If we were going out he would need to tell me where we were going and with whom because I don’t like surprises.
Also, I like to know what a man is looking for in a woman and what he genuinely thinks about me.
So I ask specific questions and men usually get evasive because most only want to have sex with you and care about nothing else. If that makes me too demanding, then I will always be so.
As for not having a sense of humour, I didn’t find a lot of their silly jokes funny.
I don’t think it is a joke when you laugh at people because they look bad in what they are wearing or if a person is fat and clumsy or has a bad body odour or no coordination while dancing, and so on. If someone has shortcomings, you shouldn’t laugh at them because all of us at some time fall into that category.
I remember when I was in my early twenties my first boyfriend was really handsome and used to dress sharp. Honestly, I have never seen a more beautiful physical specimen in a man except on television or the movies.
But he was dumb, in that he could not carry on a decent conversation on anything. All he ever wanted to do was to go out like at the beach so he could show off his body; to fetes where he could show off on the dance floor; and make love because he had a long penis.
He had a dead-end job, was not interested in studying to further himself or doing anything to prepare himself for a future. He never considered what his life would be like if I had a child and he was faced with that responsibility, or if he lost his job. He just lived for the day.
After nearly a year of that I realized that good looks are worth nothing if the man has no brain, so I dumped him.
My second boyfriend was a looker too, but he was a young professional whose primary interest was excelling in his chosen field and making a lot of money.
So though he was bright, articulate and a looker, he was also self-centred and egotistical. He acted as if I should be grateful to have him in my life despite the fact that I was also skilled and didn’t need anything from him except his affection.
The third man in my life has brought me to this frustrating point where I keep asking myself what is the point of a relationship. I trusted this man, and gave myself to him because I believed that he was the one. And for 17 months he treated me as if I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Then, in the space of nine days he dumped me, went overseas and married someone else.
Sometimes I sit here and get so angry. I hate him for how he used me, and then discarded me. I never saw his deceit coming.
He and that woman were involved before he and I was. He travelled twice to England during our time together but always said it was to be with his family as he was the only one here. And he used to text and call me from there, so I had no idea whatsoever he was engaged to someone, and I was just a fling to keep him in practice.
What he did to me is unforgiveable! I still hurt deeply at how I was fooled – me, someone who was always careful and selective. But that experience has taught me that when you fall in love with someone, you can easily be fooled.
