Cut off mummy’s boy!
By Carol-Ann Tudor | Sat, April 30, 2011 - 12:00 AM
Why do some men believe they can’t do without their mothers? A friend of mine has a “mummy’s boy” who refuses to sleep out from home, refuses to let her sleep over and is often quick to complain to his mother when they quarrel.
Mummy, being no sweetbread, is quick to call her up and cuss her out, even telling her to leave her son alone. Now what kind of relationship is this? Is it just me that sees he is a true “poo poo man” and that she is fighting a losing battle, or can you see it like the full moon??
Hottie Burke: Are you sure she is involved with a man or a little boy? She is not only fighting a losing battle but a straight-up lost cause. If things are this tough in the beginning, as this gets more serious between them it will get worse. He clearly is in no position to make decisions on his own, and to have his mother so deeply involved in his relationship is a sign of weakness.
There is also a high level of disrespect in this entire scenario . . . under no circumstances, no matter how bad they may be, should he let his mother call her up and curse her – girlfriend, he has no respect for you. Quite frankly, he needs to leave out the whole relationship thing and stick to being mummy's little homeboy . . . stop dabbling in big people stuff if he is not ready to handle it!!
Wa Gine On Hey: yyou are totally correct! That boy just ain’t ready yet!!
Avril: There is something wrong with that relationship. No mother should have that sort of influence over a grown man. How old is he, 17? Your friend better be careful, his mother may be the excuse for a third party who has more sway. Either way, she needs to exit stage left cause this seems like stress.
Wa Gine On Hey: 17 or 70!! A mummy’s boy will always be a mummy’s boy.
Henneth: This is not a battle, as she does not even have a chance. She needs to run and run fast. And he needs to leave women alone. He is more than a “mummy’s boy”. Something just ain’t right there!
Wa Gine On Hey: My lips are sealed!! )
Janet-Carol-Ann: Having been in that position myself and walking away from my marriage because of the mummy issues, I would say run as far away as possible. We are apt to believe that the way a man treats his mom is the same way we will be treated. That is so not true. Your friend needs to sit down and have a conversation with the guy as to whether this relationship will work and have him set boundaries for his mom. She is in a relationship with two people and it can't end well unless the guy decides that the relationship should be between him and your friend and not a third party.
Wa Gine On Hey: It’s true Janet! Being in love with a man is hard enough by itself, but being in love with a man who can’t set boundaries for his mother is even worse.
Lady G: She is fighting a losing battle because a mother is supposed to teach her son how to treat women, and if she agrees with everything he does, he will continue as he is. The other thing is I realize that a mother like that will bring other women for her son just to run out the "staunch" woman. He may not have dealings with the other women but the mother would walk around and introduce these random women as her daughters-in-law, so the girlfriend now looks and feels like a fool. The only way this attitude may change is if the man or mother find themselves in trouble and the girlfriend can bail them out.
Goblin Queen: She is most definitely fighting a losing battle . . . That is a no-win situation. She must ask herself if she is worth all this drama and disrespect from his mother. After all if she is in a relationship with him, all issues should be dealt with between them. Even if he confides in his mother, she has no place calling the girlfriend and having it out with her. The boyfriend is not man enough to put his mother in her place, therefore he ain’t man enough to be in any relationship. This playground has no room for li’l mummy boys, she should tell him thanks for the experience and bye.
Wa Gine on Hey – Dah is wa I talkin bout!! It seems like one big playground with a mummy who thinks she has two children, instead of one..)
Rachel: She is fighting a losing battle. Unless the mother warms up to her, there will always be tension but if she really loves him, she needs to take her time and wean him off his mother.
Wa Gine On Hey: Warms up??? Girl, that mother ain’t want anybody trying to take away her son and I don’t know how much weaning she can do. He seems stuck to that breast with super glue.
Cee Gee: He is best left alone, umbilical cord still attached. It can't and it won't work simply because three people in a relationship never do, and worst - it is his mother. Leave him alone! He has not been weaned yet and neither of them is willing to let go, and this is emotionally lethal. Backspace and Delete cause that's an error.
Wa Gine On Hey: You couldn’t have said it better, Cee Gee – a total error.
Camille Jean-Marie: Girlfriend needs to get a MAN in her life. The mummy's boy she has at the moment has a breast-feeding disorder; either too much or too little as a child. He will never grow out of it if his mother continues to entertain him. Girlfriend lost the battle before she even started the fight.
As for mummy dearest, cut those apron strings, lady! You are making it hard for us!!
Wa Gine On Hey: Apron Strings?? The mother has so much clout, it seems more like a dog leash to me, and even dogs have their say.
Andrea - A love relationship is supposed to be between two people, not three. If Mummy all up in the sauce, to the point where she could be calling and cussing out the girl, that means there is probably no detail of the relationship left private. Seems like neither of them is willing to cut the cord, sohome-girl should cut her losses and find herself a real man!
Wa Gine On Hey – It’s sad, Andrea, but I do believe you are right… she needs to cut those losses and move on!
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