Healing after a break-up
By Victoria Frank | Sat, May 28, 2011 - 12:00 AM
A break-up is one of the most painful times in your life. If we are dumped, the pain is worse than the pain we feel when we dump someone. For many of us, the pain of breaking up is very intense. Here are some ways to avoid pain after the break-up.
1. Avoid your ex completely:
The most important thing to keep in mind right after the break-up is that spending time with your ex would constantly remind you of all the good times in your relationship and hurt you even more. If you call, email, text or try to meet your ex constantly, you may rekindle feelings that once were. You may feel them, but your ex may not. This can lead to even more pain.
2. Allow yourself to feel pain:
The first result of a breakup is intense pain. If you are suffering a breakup, don’t avoid the pain but do realize that the pain is good for you. It is natural to feel pain when you lose someone who had a lot of importance in your life. When you feel pain, it is almost like a sign saying that you are in the process of healing. There is no need to panic in such a situation. The best advice to overcome the pain would be to give in to it and let it have a positive impact on your life. The pain post-breakup can be a source of inspiration for you to do something better that you have always wanted to do.
3. Keep yourself busy:
The best way to avoid post-break-up blues and thoughts about your ex is to keep yourself busy all the times. The mind will not think if you do not give it time to wander. Keep yourself constantly involved in different types of activities. Pick up those activities that you love doing.
This will move your focus from the break-up to the activities you love. Activities will not only freshen your mind and relieve you of pain but will also help by creating a diversion for your mind and will keep you away from thinking or even trying to contact your ex.
4. Speak about your feelings only to a close friend:
It is a bad idea to talk about your break-up to each and every friend of yours as they will eventually start avoiding you, thinking that you have nothing to talk about except the break-up. Face it, it can be a turn-off. On the other hand, it would be a wise decision to pick one friend who you think will understand your thoughts and your feelings and will listen patiently to all that is on your mind. Remember that your close friends can be your greatest support system when it comes to a break-up and they would honestly give you the best advice. Do not speak to your ex about your break-up! (Unless you’re planning to get back together with the ex you’re confiding in.)
5. Write down your thoughts:
Writing is one of the best ways to vent all the hidden pain, frustration and anger a break-up brings with it. Maintaining a journal would release lot of hidden pain from your heart and head. After you recover from the breakup, it would also be an insight as to how much you have evolved as a person. There is no substitute for writing when it comes to letting out one’s feelings.
6. Give yourself time:
You must realize that nobody recovers from the grief of a breakup in a jiffy. It takes days and months before seeing any signs of recovery. It all depends on the type of person you are and how you can handle negativity in your life. Do not try to go in another relationship right after a breakup. It is important to give yourself enough time before getting back into the dating scene after a breakup.
These are some important aspects that one has to keep in mind after a breakup. The main task is to keep one’s pride and self-respect intact without letting anyone take advantage of you and your natural vulnerability.
- Editor's Choice