SO IT IS 2011 and iffing you live to experience it, give thanks.
The first thing that strikes me ‘bout this year is that there will be a whole month when the number 9/11 will be in play. We don’t know what the freaks might be planning, so we better start planning fuh them.
Bubbadus starting the year wid a bye election, another unnecessary event – the outcome is a foregone conclusion! I predict that Mara Thompson will be the new representative fuh St John! Dis vendor focused pun Xmas just gone and the new year. I notice that the presents reduce plenty. No ham. I use to get three, then two, then nothing. Just so? No spa or dinner vouchers (can I still use the one from last Christmas iffing I didn’t use it yet?) and the Harley Davidson that I was hoping for was not parked by the breadfruit tree! The only thing I didn’t do to get one was threaten the fat guy with violence, but still no Harley!
Some friends invite muh to celebrate new year in T&T and I notice a few things that different. I don’t know if somebody tell Kams something, but a very polite lady in Immigration was insisting that I show she a return ticket! Ticket lady? In this day and age? Fuh de Vendor, who does call Trinidad home? As I couldn’t find a ticket, eventually she let me go. I leggo two brass bowls (under me breath) as I left she wukking pun Old Year’s – dah fuh lick yuh! Then there was the Trini Malls.
Iffing you want to experience Christmas you have to see the Trini Malls. Not even in Amurca I ever see so much pretty and extravagant decorations and music piping pun the sound systems and pun New Year’s Eve from atop a hill with a panoramic view. De Vendor watch fireworks displays to blow de mind FOR ONE FULL HOUR! Not even Epcot Centre display does last so long. De fetes did happening all over dis fete-crazy country. No matter wuh problems them got, Trinis does party!
And now to the New Year resolutions – a useless pastime ’cause widout fail we does mek and brek dem. I keeping mine simple. I gwine try to remember to say thank you to all who nice to me and to live a healthy life. So, straight up, thanks to Mr Oliver Haywood and the LIAT Grantley Adams staff, who put me pun a noon flight instead of a 5 p.m. one, so I was able to get to the land of the humming bird early fuh a big fete. When I arrive at the airport, muh boarding pass was waiting fuh muh and I surprise muh friends when I arrive at de gates! Never mind two Rottweilers nearly surprise de Vendor!
Jokey Patrick Manning wid all he arrogance; he gone too. Sir Allen Standford (these days simply Allen Standford) dealing with the reality of living in jail; Chris Brown discovering that domestic violence will not be tolerated.
Floods, hurricanes, violence, terrorism, global warming enough to mek you stop following the news. Sometimes, however, some stories got a silver lining. Tek, for example, a fella call Ted Williams. No, not Stephen brother, although he look like he could be family to Bizzy. Homeless and down and out after years of alcohol and drug abuse, he cleaned himself up and every day stood by the road with a sign proclaiming his talent, his voice.
One day recently a journalist from a TV station interviewed him and played his voice on YouTube. The thing gone viral since, over 12 million view it, the man got a job, a big contract and Cleveland Cavaliers, the NBA teams, offer he a contract too. Sometimes life does throw you some bouncers but sometimes she does deliver a miracle and fuh Ted Williams, a dream come true, proof positive of the goodness of mankind. Now iffing somebody could get de family to give me de Harley, the Vendor would be a happy trooper too! I Market Vendor gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?
