PUDDING & SOUSE: Man on slim fast diet

Sat, June 04, 2011 - 12:00 AM

Residents of a housing area are very concerned about what is going on in the life of a certain man who recently made a comeback. They want to know if he has been on a slim-fast programme, since he has been losing weight rapidly.

Concerned neighbours want him to get off the drinks and seek medical attention because he needs to be alert in order to keep a watch on his wife, who looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants.

The neighbours want him to get his life back on track and put back on the weight so that he can keep his wife in line.

He’s in heat

There's a man at a service station who is reputed to be a village ram and who chases everything in a skirt, even though he is married.

At the moment he has one young girl pregnant while another has been chased out of the picture.

Those around him are fed up with his philandering and cannot stand how he tries to get up close to every young woman.

They want something done about his dirty behaviour before his philandering causes another big scene at the station.

Read all about it!

There's a certain newspaper vendor who has taken on the title of proud and avid home-wrecker.

This woman goes around horning women and has left a trail of broken families in her wake. She has made it known on several occasions that she does not care whom she hurts and even resorts to all sorts of dirty and malicious tactics.

One of her latest victims has been fighting back, but the newspaper vendor – who lies and manipulates people – went as far as slandering the poor woman’s name on Facebook and then turned around and spread vicious rumours about her.

People want to know if she will still sells papers when she becomes the headline news because, at the rate she is going, they expect to see her soon on the court pages.

In a shambles

If you are unhappy in your marriage, get out!

That’s the message that people are sending to a certain woman, who, instead of letting go of her husband, is tormenting him by sticking around and having multiple extra-marital affairs.

She seems to think that she is hurting the man, who has already told everyone that he does not care two hoots about whom she sleeps with.

This woman, who usually looks very unkempt, seems to have forgotten that it was her husband who took her out of the gutter and gave her the sweet life. How can she be hurting him when she is the one who is always depressed, insecure and hangs out on the beach on evenings drinking alcohol?

The men she sleeps with don’t even stick around her.

This poor woman, who works at an office in Bridgetown, should move on with her life and stop making a fool of herself because her husband and her friends are laughing at her behind her back.

Love affair gone awry

A retired civil servant who had a big job at a certain place has not lost his control, especially when it comes to women.

At the moment he is involved with an insurance executive, a hotel worker and a woman who works at the airport, as well as his wife, for whom he has no respect.

One of his women even persuaded him to file for divorce so that she can move in with him and he has been trying to get poor wifey out of the house before the divorce is final.