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True Confessions
I CONFESS: Stupid mistake led to my disgrace
Published on: 10/31/2009.
WE ALL HAVE DONE something stupid that we regret at some time in our lives. For me, it was lying about the paternity of my child to get a man I adore to marry me.
I did it because back then a woman was considered slack for getting a child out of wedlock.
The lie was easy to get away with because I used to talk to him - let's call him L - a lot. We were always together at church and Sunday school. So people knew we liked each other.
The truth was, while I liked him a lot I never thought he would ever marry me as he was from a well-off family, and I came from a poor one.
L's future was set in that he had family in England and was planning to go there after school to study to be a lawyer. As for me, all I could hope for was a job in Government as a clerk or if I was really fortunate, a teacher.
So when I went out with a friend of ours and we were intimate, and then missed my period, I decided to entice L to have sex with me so I could blame him if it turned out that I was pregnant. I imagined that his family would allow us to marry and I would go with him to England, and after that I would have a great life.
L and I did have sex, but a month later when I told him I was pregnant and asked him what we were going to do, he said he would deny it. And true to his word, he told his parents he was not responsible.
So there I was getting bigger and causing my family shame, while L's parents hustled him out of the island to avoid anymore talk. Now the other guy who I was pregnant for said he would take responsibility for doing it, but I did not want him to because, like me, he was from a poor family and could offer me nothing. So I rejected him, and about a year later he went off to England too.
To make a long story short, both men I was intimate with were out of the country and hated me. I had to leave my parents' house as I had disgraced them. And my son grew up always wanting to know who his father was. When he became a man and I finally told him the truth, he too resented what I did.
That lie was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it to this day. That showed me that God really is not sleeping.
* You, too, can relate the biggest mistake or regret in your life by sending your story to sankaprice@nationnews.com or calling 262-5986.
6 comment found!
my disgrace : 11/7/2009
No sympathy here Sista, Even if your devious plan had worked on L and he had taken you for his wife, you would be just as poor as you are now if not poorer. What did they teach you at Church&Sunday school?
mistakes made : 11/4/2009
Life is what it is but ou cannot hide fromlies and God is not sleeping nor deadat some time you will pay for the wrong you do in one way or another so take note and live the right way. P
Disgrace : 11/4/2009
I am not one of those who is going to feel sorry and symphatise with women like you,i think people like you need to suffer,what if the man had think the child was his and take you to England with him and married you.You would be living a lie,this is just some of the disgraceful things that cause murder suicide in relationships, women like you give other women a bad name all i can say shame on you, you are ungrateful,direspectful to yourself the child and his father crave all loose all.
mistake/disgrace : 10/31/2009
This type of behavior have been happen to lots of men for years, women getting pregnant for someone beside the person they have be living with, many men when this happens will always asked questions especially when they know how the women they are involved with live some shady lives. we still have women today who have husands/boyfriends live together and still will sleep with other men. Much of this behavior have to do with getting much needed finance that cannot be had from the ones they live with.
: 10/31/2009
A lie is a lie is a lie, and there can never be an excuse for it regardless of how you try and justify what you are doing, however, to lie to a man about the paternity of a child, is probabaly the worst lie you can tell as it will eventaully as with all lies come to the surface, how do you now explain this to your child, and what about the damange you have no doubt done to the relationship between the child and who he thought was his father, unforgivable in my eyes.
Stupid mistake : 10/31/2009
That must have been a terrible burden to live with. We all make mistakes but its what we do about the mistakes that makes the real difference. If we own up and be honest with ourselves and everyone else, what can they do, we've, at least told the truth. It may be hard to handle at first but time would have been the healer and your son may not have resented you. I hope he can find it within him to forgive you at some stage in his life.
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