Meddling Parents : 11/20/2009
I am 23yrs old and i had my xbf for 4 yrs my mother never liked him for the reasons that i an cleared skin and he was dark in complexion..My dad thought he was Black & ugly but yet still if i wanted something and he had it i got it...if we went out they can gaurantee that i will be home in good condition..dad never liked him and never spoke when he said goodevening/moring..mum never spoke with him all because of his looks....i said that to say ya cant judge a book by its cover...now its my turn to be a mum if my daughter brought home a guy that wasnt as qualified as her ok so wat as long as he is working and "Trying to better him self or move forward"as long as he knows what he wants..as long as he respects my daughter..his dress is nothing to do with me as long as i cant see his boxers and if his manner is offensive to me well i will speak to him about it and if he does nothing i will speak to my daughter cause if he doesnt have respect for me he wouldnt for her either..Parents should give there views but not try to meddle in there childrens affairs.....thats my view...

inoppropiate partner : 11/19/2009
You can take a cow to the pond but you can not make it drink, lots of young girls prefer to go for these type of fellows the bad boy look and musty with it.

: 11/18/2009
Since she is the only girl this is easy...get her brothers, uncles and or crazy dad to take him for a walk...

: 11/18/2009

Inappropriate partner : 11/17/2009
What is inappropriate for one may not be for another. You may not like your daughters choice in men, but you must be supportive. Sometimes the one you think is inappropriate ends up being the prince.The one you think would be the perfect match ends up being the one who will hurt her the most. Just be supportive of whomever your daughter brings home and be there if something goes wrong. Never push her into something you may regret.

offensive : 11/15/2009
i would talk to her and him about his manner and his dressing but as far as being more qualified i would not mess with that one because if he is good for her and he do right her who am i to do butt in

Problems ahead : 11/14/2009
First I would try not to do the instinctive thing-- lose my temper and forbid her to see him because that may make her cling to him more, despite her misgivings.I would try to explain to her why I have misgivings about such a match. The qualifications issue could be a problem, especially if she makes more money than he does. His way of dressing can be changed and his manner would only be a problem if it was offensive towards her. A young man who is less educated or less financially stable may come to my home with a chip on his shoulder and have an attitude. As a "young elder" I am old enough to see trouble but young enough to understand being in love with someone's potential. He might feel enough for my daughter to try to 'clean up' for her or she might be able to encourage him to improve himself. My grandparents did not approve of my father because he was not as educated as my mum but he turned his life around under my mother's influence and earned the trust of my grandparents(especially after they married and I was born).

Inappropiate partner ! : 11/14/2009
It would kill me to see the manner he is dressed in especially if it is with his pants below his waist and dropping off . However the man is coming to her not me . I prefer her to be with a man who has a good mind than one who is a liar ,a womaniser and a thief with a masters .

: 11/14/2009
I once heard "you cannot tell the heart who to love", but while this may be true, I am not sure I would hope that my child based upon her upbringing would make the right/decent choice in a relationship. It seems that only in (Barbados, which is where I was born so therefore I speak of) there was/always/is(don't know if still) this stigma of who was supposed to be good for each other when it comes to being a partner, ex: a Police/Nurse; a Doctor/Lawyer/Engineer, therefore keeping the money issue constantly the focus and center of a relationship/happiness. Here is the reality of all this.... money does not buy or make you happy, therefore, whether the other person is just as qualified or not should not make a difference. When you able move out of the Barbadian mentality you will see people who are highly qualified and are in good positions most of the time will always take a person of "lesser"(correct the term if you do not approve, I will not be offended) as a partner, it helps to keep them grounded and focus more on the relationship rather than money. As for his dress and manner being offensive, again, I cannot say, because I would have hoped that her upbringing coupled with lifestyle values play a significant role in her life choices. When children reach the age of accountability we as parents are not supposed to choose for them their path/s in life but we can certainly encourage them to seek the best in their endeavors.

inappropiate partner : 11/14/2009
but you forget one thing, you are not the one going to be living with this dube even if you dont like him, now she loves him, who is to say that she cannot patch him up and make him the way she wants him, women can be quite influential especially in young love, we can impress men and some of them will adjust to please the woman if they truly love her and dont want to lose her, i would not tell her that he is no good for her and less educated, but i would find out from her what it is that made her fall in love with this character and let her knwo that there is probally better out there but if she really loves him, i would explain to her that in my opinion she has her work cut out for he in that she has to do something about his appearance. now how uneducated is this dude and dont tell me that its a problem for her, she would not have chosen him if there was because she is an educated and smart girl, so she must have know what she is picking up, you might light his attire and he might not be as educated, but i am sure that he make up for it in some other way, maybe he is the one to treat her like a princess and take care of her. not every colar and tie is best suited to be husband work, some of them are the problem ones. i would voice my opinion and leave her to make a decision for herself if she is a mature person. sometimes we can only give advice and show our children what is good or bad and leave the adults to make the decision for themselves. mi mudda used to seh dat um is we who haffa live wid wuh eva we chose, but if she did not like wuh she seh, she would tell we and leh we mek we own bed.who is to say how that person is going to change or make one anoda happy, we cant just judge by looking at someone, there is an instinct that say right or wrong, but who are we to judge, sometime the one wid big money, house and car are not the ones to make us contented, sometimes dem is de ones dat does horn we more that anything else, and too you dont know his heart and the love he has for the woman, even if he does not make up for it in education, somethimes, he is the one that treats her well and makes her happy. give them your blessings and pray for the best, dont condem, bajans are very good at that, we always try to hang we hat weh we hand cant reach and a tendency to look down, but instead of looking down, hold the hand and give them a pull. baje in toronto