: 2/12/2010
Women cotninue to use their childen as pawns in love gone wrong . Several of them does not intend to let these men go one way or another .The ship may have set sail but they use the children as life jackets .In some cases some has children from more than one relationship and they continue to use the children as pawns to manipulate the various fathers .They care not if they are married ,single or otherwise . This is so sad .Children are used until they reach an age where several of them now collect money from their fathers because they would have been privy to what went on with the money before .Some mothers think that they are entitled to monetary funds from the childrens father for taking care of their child .How ridiculous .Did they not make this child togather ?Some of them see the man for the money alone and not for playing an active role in the childs development .Then you would hear they are single mothers and mother and father to the children .Hogwash! Too many of our women place themselves in this so called category because they refuse to let fathers help to mold their offspring .I am sure many of them would like to do this but are often denied and made bank cards .I believe the best way to deal with such women is to encourage the men seek an active role in their childrens lives .Even if it go to the courts because a child needs two parents .A mother can never be a father do not care how you look at it .A fatehr is a man who has a child and he should help to instil morals ,play and be there for the child .Money can never replace true loveand affect .When these kinds of situations come before the relevant authorities these women should be send to mandatory course for parethood.Most of all those who refuse to work and wait soley on child support (those who are fortunate to get ) and continue to bombard trhe Child Care Board for more money should be directed to the Welfare to work programme .It is not only for persons who are on welfare but it is a programme where you gain skills to empower you .In the case of a stepmother whether it was I or another woman before who he left her for or for another reason I would keep miles from her .I would not be in her back and forth banter or her silly schemes .Sadly some of the men feel that because the children are with their mother and though he has moved on feel obligated to not only the children but the woman too .If i was in such a relationship and the woman kept demanding and he kept meeting her every demand how ever ridiculous I would let her have him . I know of some who would call the man's house especially if he is married and say that you may have the ring but they have the man always because of the children . These women are only hurting themselves and the children in the long run because at the end of the day instead of seeing two parents though apart but care about them they see manipulation and a tug of war.This can only hurt future relationships for the children when they grow to be adults .Children are not stupid .As for the woman she will be alwys looking for a scheme to get the man back in her favour and end up hampering a good life for herself on the whole .

: 2/11/2010
I find it odd that most of the negative comments are towards the women in these situations when the men bear just as much blame with their attitude that if you have their child, you are always theirs in one way or another - or I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you. Some folks should just never be together and definitely have children - it's sad what their children are being taught by watching their behavior.

Chidren as pawns : 2/9/2010
They are alot of women who use their children as pawns .They make sure they get child support , snack money,doctor fees and every other thing all in one month .They are doing this and at the end of the day they still live no where and have nothing to show for their scheming . Most of them spent the money and believe because they had a man the child money is not only for the children but for them who bore the kids and look after them .Some of them do this and even put the children to call the fathers saying they do not have this and do not have that .All along to take the child from point a to b it is a problem .Taking the man money is not though .If them and the man fall so be it , stop trying to hold on .If he wanted you he would have stayed and if yo uthink he want to and he is not coming forget it . Me, i keep far ,i do not have anything to say to her .I let him know that she must learn to paddle her own canoe . The thing is she has other children by other men but they obviously did not stick around .I told him that he was blind since she uses the children and all her sob sories to get money .The day she decides to get blue vex he cannot see them .This is wrong and women should remember they have children who will grow into adults and may be done the same thing .

children as pawns : 2/9/2010
Never use your children as pawns....It will come back to bite you one day. The problem is between you and the man/women in this case. The children are totally innocent. What do you really gain by involving your children. It is not going to make that person love you any more, if anything it will make them turn away and resent you. I would not want to be privy to this kind of behavior.

do not entertain them : 2/8/2010
I will definitely have nothing to do with them .They love to call at your house using the children and sob stories .The children wants every day of every week although they are getting the child support money in their hands . Imagine that . A hand full of money I would definitely not entertain them .I would let the father know that if she wants to call do it on his cell .Some think because they have children from a man that is their right of passage so the children (which they really mean themselves ) comes first . The wife or other woman is to keep quite until 18 or more years later until then the man is their personal property

: 2/8/2010
Sadly this is something that happens on a daily basis here . These are not women i call them manipulators ,fortune seeks or plain stupid . A real woman if she and a man is finished will see that with his help the chidren are maintained financially and otherwise.The man has moved on for what ever reason why make yourself a dog and a nuisance.If he has another woman unless your children are not ill treated (any father worth his salt will not let a woman do that to his kids) Leave them be . Stop telling the children stories about the step mothers and cussing her or the father in front of the children .Let children be children .I would keep far from her .I would be nice to the children if i was the step mother .If i have anything to give i would give the father to pass on .Other than that i would have no talk for that fool .I would encourage him to go to the courts since some of them get vindictive and do not want the men to have visiting rights of their kids . When ever possible and he has to make monetary inputs for the kids (reasonable ) i will encourage him because nothing should not be too good for your kids ,court ruling or not .I said reasonable because some women call for money for the kids like it grows on a tree forgetting they are the parent too . Some call the men at their house and seeing that some men are like dogs in heat may be only too glad to go not realising the trick .

: 2/6/2010
This something that men and women are guilty of men will with hold money so that the woman will stay with them women will deny the man seeing his children so that he will continue the relationship. The way to deal with these people is women should never get themselves in the position to be financially dependent on a man if he does not support his children take him to court for maintenance the same goes for men if the women deny you access to your children go to court for joint custody. Basically men/women should get themselves in the position to call the bluff of the men/women who use their children to get what they want.

Re: UW2U3 : 2/6/2010
Fair enough! But as far as "going before the courts" is concerned, that sounds good when you say it real fast. So, I submit about employing that measure as a solution...IT DEPENDS!

Children as pawns : 2/6/2010
Females such as these are "manipulators", they are usually very stubborn, head-strong, reckless and ultimately dangerous.
As far as the children are concerned, it is best to make a good faith effort to support them financially and emotionally.
The female should be treated, as my mother used to tell me: With a long spoon, and a fuzzy eyebrow.
And I might add; go about your business, eat with a good mind, do not take advantage of anybody and never, ever let anybody take advantage of you!

Parasites... : 2/6/2010
real 'Women' dont use their children as pawns, parasites do, little do they know they will never find favour with their partner by doing so. Walk away with dignity and respect seek visitation and maintenance through the courts and keep the relationship with your children.

: 2/6/2010
A better question would have been: "What do we do with women and MEN who use their children as pawns". This kind of manipulative behavior is not the preserve of women. I know of men who have told their partners that they would not be receiving any child support if they end the relationship, or will not receive child support if the start a relationship with anyone else. The best way to deal with such parents, both men and women, is to take them before the courts.

Children as Pawns : 2/6/2010
Sadly there exist no best way other than making such self guided and selfish souls realize the damaging effects on their defenseless child or children's emotional, psychological and overall social behavioral quality of health and life as a whole. They should each embrace the saying..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."