• Today
    September 24

  • 09:39 PM

Learn how to love yourself

DEAR CHRISTINE,

Added 20 May 2010

dearchristine

ON Monday, May 17, 2010, a letter writer to Christine described to Christine how she felt.

“I feel like a pack of bread on a shelf that everyone squeezes, but never wants,” she said. She explained that she had been dating a man for a few years and he was nice in the beginning. However, she said he began to smoke “mind altering” stuff, while drinking a mixture of alcohol and wanted to do ungodly things  to her.

“I thought my love for him could make him see he was hurting me,” she wrote. In essence, after nine years he left her for someone else, and she still hasn’t gotten over him. Sometimes she says, she feels like taking her life.

Here are some online responses:

• You found him so you can still find someone else. Just try and stay away from this guy because he has nothing good to offer to you in this life.– Wills

• Get that Singing Francine song and give it a good listen. After you listen a few times then you will get the message. Woman! Dog does runaway, sheep does runaway, cow does runaway. SO YOU CAN RUNAWAY TOO.– Watchman

• Lady what you wrote has nothing to do with love, you thought it was love, but no one doing all the things you said he did, knows nothing about loving someone else. If what you wrote is gospel, then he used you like a tool, when the tool got old and beaten up, he discarded it.– MALE

• I hope that you are far away from this man, and I hope that you take the time to ‘look inside yourself’ and validate yourself as woman first. While it can be hard to stay away you will only be able to accomplish this one day at a time, in order to make big steps we must first start with small ones. Take care of yourself mentally and physically and I know you will get through this. It won’t be easy or quick, but if you have had the strength to deal with this you will be able to deal with the healing process.  Stay strong.– Love you first

• I have one word for you woman!! RUN !!, your self esteem must be so low it’s minus zero, to stay with a man who treats you like that. My advice RUN and seek help to boost your self-esteem before looking for  another man.– Bajan in Florida

• You need to start adding value and respect to yourself. To you, you are the most important person in this world, and anyone who smokes that stuff and mixes it with drinks has no values whatsoever. Find a new cadre of interesting people and activities to immerse yourself in and thank God for small mercies, you could have been dead. There are good men out there, but you need to show respect (demand it too) and integrity, there are also good women as well, who will help you through this after shock. I will also assume you have a job, otherwise get one and become independent; when the time is right and you find a tested and caring man, then and only then seek to share, DO NOT support anyone fully, make them pull their weight. If they are serious they will do so.Good luck and God bless.– Irocmuffin

Yesterday,  a letter writer wrote Christine saying that she was ‘Living a very lonely life’.She has been divorced for many years and has  no children. All she does is go to work and go home.

Here are some online responses:

• Ms. Lonely, you have to change your ways of doing things. If you just to work and come home as you say, your life would always be that way. First start with going out for walks, shopping, these things lead to conversations with people. These conversations can lead to activities that you can go to. Do stuff with your family members and before you know it, you would have dates at your door.

• As a returning resident who lived in America some 44 years, I’m returning to Barbados in March 2011, I’m a 58 year-old male and will be looking for a female when I come home, so pen pals are ok, if there’s an understanding that more is needed.– bajan in florida

• Ms. Lonely, you are not the only person in such a situation, I’m there and I know your plight.  I would suggest that you speak to your minister and see if he/you can start a singles club (divorced, never married, widowed) you might be surprised how many people in your church would welcome it. Good luck in your search for a companion.– In your shoes

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