Monday, March 18, 2024

LOOKA LEW: Gas pains

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One donkey needed.
Must be in good condition and fully loaded. This time this donkey is not for the National Cultural Foundation; this one is for me, ’cause gas prices gone up again. I think I gine honestly have to put down the car and ride mule to work, ’cause what ever li’l money they paying me seems to be gine in taxes and gas.
And the thing is, the gas ain’t lasting. You put in gas this minute, drive out the gas station and before you get where you going you have to stop and put in gas again, like them got termites in the tank drinking your gas.
Nowadays, I does be in the gas station more regular than I does be in the toilet. Seriously, it dread. Next time you buying gas, peep across at the driver at the next pump and look at their face. That person does look like their shoes too tight or they crying – they can’t take it anymore.
Wunna ever realise that the gas nozzle looks like a gun? I does feel like I being held up by a robber when I pull out my wallet to pay for gas.
Seriously, check it; nobody don’t be in the gas station smiling anymore or making small talk with the attendants; they just want to get in and get out before gas prices go up again. And when you leaving, the attendant got this habit of telling you to have a nice day. Now how the hell you gine have a nice day after paying so much for li’l gas?
Then on top of all of this, a fella would tell you that he wants to borrow your car to go somewhere. Now you know that if left to him he ain’t gine put no gas in it. He would drive it from here to Alaska and bring it back empty, so you does got to tell him that if he wants to borrow the car he gine got to put in gas.
And that fella would drive out all of your gas, and on his way back to you, he would stop at the gas station and put in $5 in gas, and nowadays $5 in gas does be the amount of gas in a cigarette lighter – not even enough to start a weed whacker.
But when people ask you to borrow your vehicle or ask you to drop them somewhere, and you tell them you gine need a contribution for gas, they does look at you like you hand-to-mout, like they think you looking for a way to make piece o’ money off them. That is because them ain’t got a clue.
Look, right now I would prefer to give you a kidney than to drop you somewhere – that is how I feel ’bout the price of gas.
I know a man who lives in Christ Church. He say he was dealing with a woman from St Andrew, but he had to done with her ’cause it was costing him too much money in gas to go up there, plus he heard that a man with a bicycle was horning him, so he get rid of her and now got a woman within walking distance. I can’t blame him.
Anyhow, I would like to put down my car and catch bus, but I can’t tell which is worse, the bus service or the price of gas. Either way I looking for a donkey, but it must have power steering, CD player and air condition.
See ya.

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