When I was a schoolboy we used to bet “Lent”.
Betting Lent meant that if you were heard singing a calypso, you could be “tapped” (an open-palmed blow to the back of the head near the nape of the neck) with impunity.
Ash Wednesday or the day after Trinidad’s two-day street carnival is the start of the Lenten season. In looking back I cannot remember my head not resounding from innumerable taps every Ash Wednesday. My love for calypsos caused it.
How can any calypso lover, after hearing Jean And Dinah or some other hit for days on end, suddenly disconnect from the melody at midnight on Carnival Tuesday?
I remember much later the Mighty Duke arguing with me on a television show that I hosted: “Calypso is not mango or orange. Calypso cannot have a season. Calypso should be played throughout the year, especially on Ash Wednesday when it is still current.”
Custom and the Catholic church created the calypso “season” and the strictures that went with Lent. In my case I was prepared to give up meat (which we had only on Sundays anyway) but giving up calypso was painful although much less so than its alternative.
This is why one of my friends twittered me on Ash Wednesday saying that it is now difficult to decide what to give up seeing how high Pope Benedict XVI had set the bar.
Of course, his sudden resignation prompted some interesting speculation, especially from the Late Night comedians. Conan O’Brien set the bar almost as high with: “The Vatican said that as soon as the Pope resigns, he will no longer be infallible. The Vatican said it’s the same thing that happened to Oprah.”
Jay Leno’s take on it was: “As you know, the Pope is resigning. He said he feels there’s just no room for advancement. It’s a dead-end job.”
Jimmy Fallon put it into context: “Tomorrow is the first day of Lent, when Catholics begin fasting for 40 days. Some Catholics will give up chocolate, some Catholics will give up alcohol, and one Catholic is giving up being Pope.”
Then The Almighty got into the act, or so some people assumed, when there was a thunderstorm in Rome and lightning struck the top of St Peter’s Basilica. O’Brien quipped: “The Vatican was struck by lightning after the Pope announced he was retiring. That really happened. Sounds like someone’s not handling the break-up well.”
This would have remained an isolated incident in the unfolding papal drama were it not for the meteor that hit Russia on Friday, February 15. Immediately, a connection was made. The resignation of the Pope was the signal for apocalypse now.
Media reports said that the fall of such a large meteor, estimated as weighing dozens of tonnes, was extremely rare, while the number of casualties as a consequence of its burning up around a heavily inhabited area was unprecedented.
Stephanie Pappas of Live Science wrote: “Y2K? A bust. Judgment Day 2011? As quiet as a mouse. The Mayan apocalypse? Certainly not now. As they have throughout history, failed doomsday predictions come and go. But with the Pope resigning, an asteroid whizzing near the planet on Friday, February 15, and a completely unrelated space rock exploding over Russia, it seems a good time to ask: What’s next?”
Even Shakespeare has been brought into the mix. Julius Caesar (Act Two Scene Two) links disturbances on Earth with rumblings and tumblings in the atmosphere. Calpurnia says: “When beggars die there are no comets seen./ The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.”
In Richard II (Act Two Scene 4) the Captain says: “The bay trees in our country are all wither’d /
And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; / The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth /
And lean-look’d prophets whisper fearful change; / Rich men look sad and ruffians dance and leap, / The one in fear to lose what they enjoy, / The other to enjoy by rage and war: / These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.”
Well, the meteor has come and it is now time to look at the bay trees or smell the Limacol.
It is said that Benedict XVI will retire to his country estate in Germany where he plans to put a few Papal bulls and a few Holstein cows together and let nature take its course. No horsemeat for him.
• Tony Deyal was last seen enjoying the Jay Leno jibe: “The Pope said that at age 85 he cannot physically go on. Meanwhile, Hugh Hefner is going to be 87 and he just married a 26-year-old. So much for that celibate lifestyle!”
