I CONFESS: Not possible to have a man of your own

beadottin, beadottin@nationnews.com

Added 03 November 2012

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After reading two articles in the SATURDAY SUN editions of October 13 and 20, headlined Man Shortage and Dead Beat Men, respectively, I am persuaded to make my input. Both articles have given me much food for thought. Those who read the first article can see for themselves why men can have so many affairs. So, my people need to stop burying their heads in the sand and see the real world as not what should be but what is. I know everyone would like a man for themselves but it’s just not possible. It’s a lonely world out there for some single women, not only those in their 60s but also those as young as the 40s. I am speaking from experience. I was a widow from my 40s. I am still lonely now in my 50s. I refuse to have affairs with married men – and, believe me, they can hound you down. I was once involved with a man who had a live-in partner, but she is “blackguardish” and “brawling”, so I called it quits. Many of those women who are always ready to curse and carry on for their men aren’t even faithful and they know how they got him in the first place by taking him away from someone else. Single women like myself, I advise you to channel your energy elsewhere. Take up other interests or hobbies: gardening, craft, volunteering, church. That’s what I did. I am also a grandmother, so I take my grandchildren on bus rides, picnics fairs, and so on. Don’t just sit and wait for a man to come along. Many men and women feel that single women only want their money, but that is not always the case. Some of us are independent women, who can stand on our own feet. It’s just at times we just long for a good hug and cuddle. After all, we human beings crave togetherness and loving words at times, and it’s not always about sex. About the confession, don’t waste time with dead beat men. I think that was a cruel letter. After all, erectile dysfunction can most of time be a medical problem. If you really love him, instead of ridiculing the man and saying “what he has is dead”, you should open lines of communication, visit the doctor with him, change his diet, encourage him to eat healthily and exercise. If his cholesterol is high, if he is hypertensive or a diabetic, perhaps the doctor can change the medication. But he has realized he is being laughed at. It can make matters worse. Instead of just being medical, it can also become psychological. 

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