I'm going to stop my cheating ways

shadiasimpson, shadiasimpson@nationnews.com

Added 27 December 2012

dearchristine1

Dear Christine,  AS I APPROACH the end of 2012 and look forward to the future, I have a confession which I need to make. You may wonder why I am choosing to do this in public. Well, I believe there are many men out there like myself who have cheated on their wives, lied and treated them in the worst way and who, like me, are now sorry. My wife and I have been married for over 15 years and in those years I have had many lovers. In fact, it’s almost as though I never got married. My wife is one of the sweetest, trusting and religious persons you could ever meet. Two years into our marriage, she became a born-again Christian. I never cared about religion and never even bothered to go to church with her, at any time. We have two teenage children and to the outsider, we enjoy a quiet, peaceful life. I took my first lover just about a year into my marriage. This woman lived overseas. We met during one of her visits to the island and our relationship lasted for two years. During that time she visited the island on six occasions, as I would never travel to see her; she was the one pursuing me. When that relationship finished, I started another one with a woman ten years younger than I was. That relationship lasted for just over a year. Within months I was into affair number three. My wife almost found out about this woman when she found a lighter in the car. I do not smoke but I was able to convince her it belonged to one of my male friends, even though the lady’s name was engraved on the lighter. My fourth relationship lasted the longest – three years. I travelled overseas with this woman and went home late most nights – after convincing my wife that I had to travel on business and was spending late nights out with the boys. I tried convincing myself that this woman was the one I should have married. I gave her everything she needed but discovered all too late that she was seeing someone else behind my back. She reasoned that since I was married, she was free to do as she pleased even though we were in a relationship. Christine, there were other women. In fact, the last relationship ended only three months ago. That’s when I looked at my life and decided I could not continue to cheat on this wonderful, faithful woman who believes in me, looks after our children well, and is a devoted mother and wife. Christine, she does not deserve me – a husband who has been unfaithful all these years. I have made up my mind to remain faithful to her; to be a committed husband and father to our children. I have even decided to start attending church with them, as they possess a peace which I currently do not have. Each year people make all kinds of resolutions. Christine, what I have decided to do, these are my resolutions. I want to tell both husbands and wives that cheating does not pay off. You live with the guilt and condemnation that you bring on yourself.  Even when your spouse is not aware of your unfaithfulness, you’re the one who has to keep looking over your shoulder, wondering if the person you’re having an affair with will one day spill the beans. Cheating does not pay in any way. It saps you of energy  I hope that my letter will cause more husbands and wives to stick to their partners and resolve to live clean, honest lives in 2013. Happy New Year to all! – J.P.  Dear J.P., There is not much I can say other than I am so glad you’ve seen the light and decided to change your lifestyle. I wish more people who find themselves in similar situations would also turn their lives around and do the right thing. I take this opportunity to wish you and your family a very prosperous and blessed 2013. – CHRISTINE

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