Ashlee Hinds was always the big one in the group. She was always seen as the funny fat one, the fat best friend, the one that was pretty for a fat girl. These were the types of comments that throughout her years at secondary school made the St Lucy resident so insecure about her appearance that one day in 2011 she decided it was time for a change.
But the former Coleridge and Parry student’s notion of change wasn’t to simply alter her outer appearance but to reconstruct how she saw herself and felt about herself. And as a consequence transform how all plus-size women also view themselves.
So she headed to where everyone goes seeking change – social media sites to explore what avenue she would take to begin this change. Unfortunately (or fortunately), one common thread among many of these platforms appeared striking to her, none showcased the bigger size black woman as a trendsetter, fashionista, or in a stylish way. It was then that she had an “ah ha” moment.
On May 3, just over three years ago, Hinds established a blog called Big Beautiful Black Girls where she gives fellow voluptuous women fashion tips, advice on healthy living and guidance on living life confidently and self assuredly in a plus-size body.
“While growing up I found that Caribbean parents only thought their children were only doing something with their life if they headed towards the field of being a doctor, accountant or lawyer. Although in my beginning stages of studying I always wanted to become a lawyer but as time went by that plan never worked. However, as time passed, while continuing my studies, I started to lean more towards fashion as my blog Big Beautiful Black Girls began to expand during these three short years.”
The young woman began her blog on Tumblr and in an interview with EASY magazine, a broadly smiling Hinds recounted that it was very well received by many women across the world who found it inspirational. So much so that it was quickly launched on other social media platforms like Instagram, and Facebook where there are over 250 000 likes.
As Ashlee related, things were going great for this once timid and insecure girl and she felt almost on top of the world. But last August she was in for another awakening when she was hospitalised. After a constant heavy menstrual flow she was taken to the hospital where she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). This condition occurs because of cysts on one’s ovary.
To her dismay, Hinds recalled that she learnt that the condition can cause heavy menstrual periods and irregular cycles and could lead to ovarian cancer, cause infertility, the growth of facial hair, painful pelvic pain and surprisingly make weight loss very difficult.
“When I learnt that PCOS made it hard for a persons to lose weight, I realised that this could have possibly been the reason why even though I always thought l was living healthy I never lost any weight. So as soon as I came out of the hospital I wrote about my condition on my blog and would you imagine the number of ladies that came forward saying that they too had been diagnosed with the same condition and that they too were having trouble losing weight?” she said.
Upon being discharged from the hospital and with an adjusted diet to manage the PCOS, Hinds has since lost about 25 pounds. With this revelation in mind, the 25-year-old decided to as well modify the gist of her Big Beautiful Black Girls blog into a womanhood of sorts; a small organisation that helps women who are also dealing with PCOS and trying to manage their weight.
“They want to be happy, they want to have children so I want to create a womanhood through my blog. It is pretty heart-rending and sad for any young lady who has dreams and aspirations later down in life to have children to know that you might not be able to have children.
“I would like to get rid of [PCOS] but I know there is no cure but sticking to a certain diet and exercising hopefully it will go away, so I would love to merge PCOS with the blog to help more big girls battling with PCOS and weight issues to feel good about themselves, make them feel happy with the bodies they are in but I want to push the healthy part more. I don’t want to tell them to lose weight but I want to tell them to be healthy, they can dress and look nice but get checked to see if they have PCOS also . . .”.
What may be unseen to those who tend to be looking in from the outside is that Ashlee’s blog didn’t blow up overnight and it took many sleepless nights and hours building and tweaking.
“I know many people believe that blogging is quite easy and all you do is post a few words or photos but it’s more to it than that. When taking on a new task especially one that may receive many negative responses you have to have a great support system and throughout my journey my mum has always been by my side pushing me to go for it. While growing up, she would always tell me if I want to do it just make sure I put my all into or don’t go after it all.”
Ashlee said one advantage of the blog was to connect with major plus size brands, designers, other plus size bloggers and also meeting up with some of her readers here in Barbados and also visitors to the island.
She credits meeting plus size fashion designer Monif Clarke of www.monifc.com as “impacting”.
“I look up to her so much not only because of her great fashion brand and her Barbadian background but mainly because she showed me that ideas are manifest through inspiration and that inspiration breeds ambition. Ambition creates work and ultimately bringing your idea to life so keep thinking.”
On the other hand Ashlee said that one drawback is losing friends as “some people don’t understand what you are trying to do and why you may not have the time to do certain things and then there are the select few who understand.
“As my daily schedule began to fill up with different tasks and setting different goals for myself, my time to chill or hang out with some friends caused me to lose out of a couple of friendships which I hope to mend back, hopefully in the near future. But regardless of all that I still have a few close friends who support me with everything I’ve done so far and for that I’m forever grateful.”
What makes Ashlee’s day? “When I receive messages from ladies telling me thanks for promoting self-love, confidence, womanhood and how much their life has changed since they found the website. It is astonishing how their confidence has grown from them submitting headshots to now having head-to-toe pictures of them in shorts, swimsuits and dresses.
“Since starting my blog, my life was changed for the better, however in any journey through life I’ve encountered a few ups and downs. I’ve learnt that the road to success will be long, winding and grungy. But just know that when you reach that horizon, where the light is . . . that view is going to be the most amazing view you’ve ever seen.”
