THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN front page news, along with Central Bank revelations!
A priest says that we are in the end times; that the world is coming to an end. There is little point in laying up treasures on earth, providing for a future that will never come. There is also no sense in praying for peace since the world is coming to an end anyhow. Peace will not help us. To those who may not be concerned with milk and honey, the Wild Coot says, eat, drink and be merry before doomsday comes and we have not yet lived.
The Wild Coot knows that in a certain church, the end of the world was predicted for a certain fast coming day. Some fellows who were bachelors quickly found a damsel, got married and preceded to get their milk and honey right here on earth. Some fellows, because there was limited choice in the church, went to Canada “to find a bride”.
But why would a priest be frightening people so? What would be his motive? Could it be that he is misinterpreting the signs? Are signs in the 21st century any worse than signs in the 20th century? After all, we had two world wars in the 20th century and the world did not end. As a matter of fact, if my early teaching serves me correctly, there was continuous fighting in the olden days. So much so that angels had to come down from Heaven and, with sword and chopper, annihilate thousands of foes. Angels in those days did God’s bidding.
In Numbers 22:30, an ass was made to talk back to Balaam, inspired by an angel in its path. “Am I not thine ass upon whom thou hast ridden?” Gideon got help in Judges 6. So did Hezekiah in 2 Kings 25. In Isaiah 37:36, an angel smote the camp of the Assyrians. In 1 Chronicles, David got help from an angel with a drawn sword. An angel even visited King Herod, Acts 12:23.
However, recently, angels seem to have confined their activities to Heaven. Maybe not so, since our mortal priest was adamant that the world is coming to an end as was reported in the DAILY NATION of November 23. Did the warning come from an angel? He did not elaborate. This is so important that we should know the important details.
Scientists with all kinds of qualifications are worried about climate change; Barbados is denying that it is the amputation centre of the world. There is a heated argument between those who believe that we originate from dirt since we eventually return to it, and those who think that we evolved. The Wild Coot strongly advises you to support the snail theory.
No matter how much hell and damnation is proclaimed from the pulpit, it seems that the message is not getting through. Therefore, it seems that the next tactic is to scare the daylights out of people that the world is coming to an end.
More fright came from the Leader of the Opposition. She was holding forth to a group of knowledgeable people. What she said was even more frightening than the prediction of the hallowed priest. We were down to the baller in foreign exchange at a time when oil was at its cheapest. One local businessman wanted $100 000 to restock. That would have taken up a sizable portion of the one hundred million.
The Wild Coot has been warning Barbados about the printing of money but he did not know that it had reached $1 billion. He did not know that our rescuer in the time of need was owed $3 billion. Is that why there are delays for people entitled to National Insurance? A cash shortage! Even more frightening!
Oh, I almost forgot. Abu Ben Adams was visited by an angel. The angel was writing down the names of those who love the Lord. Poor Abu! There have been several reported sightings of angels since the olden days, but nothing concrete has come of them. No public executions by angels have taken place since those bygone days, only by ISIS.
We thought that an angel had visited us, promising to help us rebuild Sam Lord’s Castle. This time it is the unions that got a fright as the African-like terms were revealed. Unemployment high in Barbados but in order to access the funds we must, in addition to repaying the loan, employ six Chinese out of every ten workers. Even the girls on Bush Hill give better terms. Unions testicles!
However, who knows? Our priest may have the gift of foresight and just like in olden days in the Holy Book, we have been warned. He may have a point, but he did not have to frighten us.
• Harry Russell is a banker. Email quijote70@gmail.com
