Thursday, March 28, 2024

DEAR CHRISTINE: Parents against my black fiancé

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Dear Christine,
I trust my letter finds you in the best of health and hope that you will continue to do the good work you’re doing.
I am a 33-year-old white female with a good paying job. I was born in . . . and came to live here when I was 12 years old. I’ve had only two serious relationships in my lifetime, and both finished leaving me with some measure of regret.
Early last year I decided to visit a popular website where I met a young black guy. We started communicating on a regular basis after we discovered we had so much in common. In fact, we communicated daily via email, to the point where we eventually shared our telephone numbers.
I think we recognized our feelings for each other were growing, so we agreed to a formal meeting.
He left his country last December to pay me a visit at my home. We spent two glorious weeks getting to know more about each other. During that time, I introduced my parents to this wonderful man and they were distraught to know I was dating a man who was not only five years my junior, but who was black.
I had never really known my parents to be prejudiced. In fact, my socially accepted, well respected family never ever discussed race with me. From my days living in . . . where I was born, we kept to ourselves.
My friend is a practising attorney-at-law, but that means nothing to my parents, who have bluntly told me they hope I do not marry this man.
Well, Christine, it looks as though a wedding is in the works, as we have been talking about a future together. I have always enjoyed a wonderful relationship with my parents, but their objection to my now husband-to-be is not sitting well with me.
I have never believed that race or colour should separate people. At the end of the day if you were to prick me, my blood would be red; yours would be also. Wouldn’t it?
I am hoping that my parents will see this letter (I know they read your publication) and understand that love comes in all shapes, sizes and colours.
I want them to know that I love this man and am not ashamed of him. I hope they will come around to accepting him as a son-in-law.
I also want them to know my love for them has not changed or ceased – even though things may be a bit strained at the moment. I just wish they would understand that matters of the heart see past colour.
– Bianca
Dear Bianca,
Your letter touches my heart because you’re right – true love has nothing to do with colour, creed, culture, religion, or even status. We should not dislike someone because of the colour of their skin; yet we know this exists among people and within communities the world over.
Let’s hope your parents come around to accepting this young man – even if it takes them a little while.
I wish both of you the best, as you look forward to a life together.
– CHRISTINE

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