DEAR CHRISTINE, I have made a very big mistake and it is bothering me a whole lot. I am living in complete guilt because of an abortion I had many years ago. At that time, it never occurred to me that what I labelled as a missed period was in fact a life I had taken.
Right now, as I pen this letter, I am wondering if my baby was a girl or a boy. I am hurting because I would have had a big son or daughter and he or she would have been a real comfort to me.
Christine, when I had that abortion years ago, it seemed the natural thing to do because I had just broken up with my boyfriend and had started seeing someone else.
The truth is I never really knew who the father was. It was hard and I was very embarrassed to have had the child outside of marriage. I was also afraid because I did not know what I had gotten myself into. I just imagined the pain – physical pain of giving birth.
You name it, I thought I had all the right reasons to have an abortion, but it sure hurts more now. When I think of friends and family members with their children, I could not imagine any of them having abortions when they got pregnant.
Now that I am in my 40s and realise that I cannot have any children, my thoughts go back to my visit to the doctor and the abortion which was done in his office. I will never know what it is like to give birth, or have a child to call my own. I know now that abortion is not an option unless, of course, there is a life and death reason behind it.
When I see my close friends and family members with their children, I think they are better persons than I am to have given a child a chance to live. No matter what people may say, abortion is wrong because we are killing an individual and not giving a child the opportunity to grow up and become somebody in life.
My mother bore me. She did not abort me when I was in her womb. I will never be able to give my husband a child because the doctor that did the abortion made some error with my womb.
I want to tell all those who believe that having a abortion is right, that it is wrong. It is not a speck of blood you are getting rid of, neither is it something you do to bring back your menstrual cycle. It is a life you are taking and each child has a right to live. Abortion is wrong.
– FEELING THE GUILT
Dear Feeling The Guilt, I agree with you 100 per cent that abortion is wrong and that when a woman becomes pregnant, it is a foetus – a life that is inside of her.
You cannot turn back the hands of time, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to bring back that life. I hope that having brought the matter out in the open by writing to me, that you’ll have some kind of closure.
If you know how to pray, do so and ask God to forgive you for the decision you made years ago to have that abortion.
Many people hold the view that abortion is okay, but as you have said in your letter, it’s not a speck of blood, neither is it a case of bringing back a menstrual cycle. Abortion is taking another life. Some anti-abortionists call it murder and I am in agreement with this.
Like you, I believe abortion is wrong, especially when there is no medical reason for having one. There are many who will disagree, but to each his own.