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LAWSE, EVERY WEEK I can guarantee that something will happen that is Yuh Gawh Be Kiddin’ worthy.
There was an awards ceremony for a very popular sport amongst women. First things first, fuh a sport that got a million and one teams, only a handful of players turned up.
Next ting was that the people tek suh long to start that the cameramen that were there, from a well-known media house, packed up their equipment and left while mumbling: “Dese people can’t be serious.”
And the only reason some people waited was because they were the only members present from their respective teams.
De next ting that happen was when I witnessed the worst presentation of a national award known to man. I could laugh now right but if I was the awardee it would’ve taken all the power from my guardian angel to stop me from colourfully expressing my thoughts.
The national award was presented under a tent, in front of someone’s home, while some people were leaving, some were eating and others looked on in disapproval.
Furthermore the person who presented the award gave a “speech” which was nonchalant and engaged in conversation with others while the awardee waited patiently. If you doubt me ask me. Then to top it off, the name plaque was not placed on the trophy. But we like it so nuh.
The highlight of this week for me, to be honest, was when I began my Christmas shopping at my favourite store. I went to MOMssy Stores. Now MOMssy always open and yuh could guarantee great quality of every single thing, look I shop till I drop. I get curtains fuh de front and de kitchen.
Then I made my way to the bed “linnings” section and found some lovely bedspreads and pillow cases. The staff at MOMssy Stores is so nice and generous that if you don’t see anything that you want on the shelf, they willingly go into storage and search bout just for you. This personalised service was so amazing and breathtaking.
Then to top it off I have unlimited higher-purchase with no payments needed. It is no wonder that I continue to shop there for the past ten or more years. Now do not email me asking where this store is because only my one can shop there.
The owner signed a contract with me on the 24th of December many years ago and she is stuck with me till death do us part. I am sure we all have our own or we are the MOMssy store, just remember this is the season of giving.
I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.
• Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org