• Today
    October 16

  • 07:13 AM

YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: Some things best fuh experts


Added 23 December 2016


EVEN THOUGH THE economy bad and things tight in de pockets, I think that they are some things that we need to leave to the professionals.

For instance, if yuh want a house build yuh gine go to de masons and carpenters and all of the other people that would be needed right? Or if yuh get sick yuh would go and pay de money to de people that spent years studying, right?

Then again some of wunnuh does go on webmd.com and try to self-diagnose. That time all you really had was a viral infection but because you went on webmd you end up writing your last will and testament because it tell you that you had cancer.

So if you would not trust yourself to do these things, why then do we trust ourselves to do other things that some may consider “simple”? Lemme tell wunnuh a story, picture it Sicily 1985. A young lady decided that she wanted to cut her hair and wear it short, but because of the tightness of her curls (in other words she hair did hard), she felt it necessary to texturise said hair.

Hair drop out

So here she was with short texturised hair and loving it, then a month later she got the idea to bleach and give it some umph, yuh know, give it lil life. Alright, fast forward to de next few days, the young lady had to go to work, not out but to work, and decided lemme just touch up de hair lil bit, and proceeded to texturise her hair at home.

After applying product my girl went and wash dishes, hangout clothes, sweep floors, went pun de phone, Facebook and WhatsApp. Then realise “oh shoot I still got it in”. She then washed it out and looked in the mirror, applied the necessary after care and step out the house feeling like a million dollars.

Bare in mind that she only had the hair bleach de week in front right, and she had in de texturised fuh 40 days and 40 nights. It is only when she friends ask what de hell was gine on with her hair that she realised something was wrong. Look, all de hair drop out in patches and almost look like she had a mohawk. I laugh so bad till all my gallbladder cramp up.

Wunnuh remember Ramon de penguin from off of Happy Feet? Well that is how she did stop. I never see somebody get weave put on so fast in my life, it was like Clark Kent changing in a telephone booth. Please leave it to the experts.

I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.

Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com


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