• Today
    October 16

  • 07:18 AM

YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: Where are my presents?


Added 06 January 2017


YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: Where are my presents?

CHRISTMAS DONE and it is back to our daily rituals of work, sleep, eat, repeat.

This past holiday I made sure to enjoy it as though it could be my last ’cause the older we become the only gifts that we really get are the moments spent with loved ones. ’Cause de tables turn now; instead of getting gifts we are now the ones buying the gifts.

Study it: when yuh was young-er yuh uses to get what? Bare toys, everybody and dem grandmudda uses to go out dem way to buy you a gift. 

It was so bad that yuh parents use to have to tell dem don’t buy no more toys. So this now meant that the next step from here was books ’cause yuh getting older now and this is when yuh is ’bout eight and yuh starting to prepare fuh de big exam.

After de book stage is de postcard with money stage, and even though yuh may miss the days when you got a million gifts, there is nothing like opening a postcard and seeing a $50 bill falling gracefully and melodically to the floor (insert slow romantic music and slow motion here).

This practice will continue until you go from ten postcards a year to a “how yuh spend yuh Christmas?” That is the ting that does really confuse me, yuh know, ’cause when yuh young you don’t really need cash.

It is only when yuh older and yuh start getting responsibilities that yuh could do wit de li’l $50, better yet just pay one ah muh bills.

What is even harder is when yuh born on a lovely day like Christmas Eve because all your life dem does set you up by getting you accustomed to having two gifts. Sabotage, I tell you! But when you get older dem does want to give you one.

One year I get two gifts and I was as shocked as Trump when he won de election. The gift that I opened on the 24th was a watch and the gift that I opened on the 25th was the watch battery.

If you doubt me, ask me. All I coulda do was laugh but that time I cruel now ’cause dis ting serious. Another year now I get a pair of eye glass frames fuh my birthday and then the lens fuh Christmas. I feel like it is birthdayism when us Christmas Eve babies aren’t treated the same. We have rights too, yuh know.

Anyhow, it is a new year, so look out fuh de “new year, new me posts”. But fuh me it is new year, new tings to laugh at!

I am Toni-Ann “Acka” Johnson. Love, peace and Mazola Corn Oil.

Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com


Dos and Donts

Welcome to our discussion forum here on nationnews.com. We encourage lively debate, but we also urge you to take note of the following:

  • Stay on topic – This helps keep the thread focused on the discussion at hand. If you would like to discuss another topic, look for a relevant article.
  • Be respectful – Meeting differences of opinion with civil discussion encourages multiple perspectives and a positive commenting environment.
  • Do not type in capitals – In addition to being considered “shouting” it is also difficult to read.
  • All comments will be moderated – Given the volume of comments each day, this may take some time. So please be patient.
  • We reserve the right to remove comments – Comments that we find to be abusive, spam, libellous, hateful, off-topic or harassing may be removed.
  • Reproduction of comments – Some of your comments may be reproduced on the website or in our daily newspapers. We will use the handle, not your email address.
  • Do not advertise – Please contact our Advertising Department.
  • Contact our Online Editor if you have questions or concerns.
  • Read our full Commenting Policy and Terms of Use.
comments powered by Disqus


Do you agree with the Barbados Licensing Authority’s decision to repeal the decision to require motorist to provide proof of address in order to renew their licenses or register new vehicles?