• Today
    October 16

  • 08:06 PM

YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: First impressions always matter


Added 10 February 2017


THE SUN WAS DANCING UPto it’s throne with the heat of a thousand suns. Traffic moved slowly towards the stop light as though it was making its way up the church aisle and I sat patiently awaiting my turn at the altar.

In the corner of my eye I saw a tall figure whose flesh was as close to the bone as white is upon rice.

Dressed in a khaki shorts neatly pressed and a polo shirt with seams, it seemed to be a thoughtfully put together ensemble. As my eyes travelled towards the floor I saw his knees, so close together that I believe they argued as to which one had the right of way.

As my eyes travelled further I saw the swollen joint, known as the ankle, without socks as the remainder of his feet hid in their vessels (shoes). But something was not right with this picture and it was only then I realised.

De man ain’t cream he foot! I don’t understand why it is dat we as a people like we don’t like to cream. Uh mean, I know de place hot and whats not but good loss. Effin yuh gine wear something short just apply lil lotion. De man foot was so scruffy that if he did walk any faster de whole a Bridgetown woulda catch a fire.

Sadly though this ain’t the only issue with the male attire cause as I got further into town I saw a young man who for some reason thought that it would be in our best interest if we all knew that his boxers were sponsored by Sponge Bob. Let us also note that there is a difference between slim fit and “dem ain’t yuh size”. If you cannot bend ur knees when you walk then it ain’t fuh you.

‘Size all’ not for everyone

And don’t think for a second that women get way. Sometimes, just sometimes when the clothing item mark “Size All” maybe . . . you are not the “all” that it fits. Look yuh does see it all in town, that is probably why de fashion police uses to be dey every week, becausing I see a girl in town and she mek me look for a calendar quick, cause wid all de powder in she neck I swear it was 1999.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for expression of self and I do believe people should be able to wear what they want without fear of persecution; my only thing is that I would love for us all to have respect of self. First impressions always matter.

Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com


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