• Today
    October 16

  • 07:13 AM

YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN': Own-way yuh is feel


Added 24 March 2017


I REMEMBER as a child my mother told me a story about her childhood. She, her brothers and a cousin uses to have to walk to school and back home every day, and everyone had to reach home together or it was blows. Anyway, yuh know as children yuh like to live on de edge, right?

Dem had an open-back truck that uses to pass them on the way home, and whenever it passed they used to jump onto the back and bum a lift. Getting on was easy – but getting off? That was another story cause yuh had was to wait till de truck reach de top of de hill, when it was at its slowest, so yuh could bail off.

Now gran-gran find out ’bout dis and made it abundantly clear that at no point in time, no matter what was going on, should they find their human bodies on the back of that truck because it was dangerous.

But we all know how young children stop, and no matter how many times my mother preached to me about being disobedient as a child, she was just as hard-ears.

This particular evening in question everybody hop on the truck again, talking and laughing as nusual. I ain’t too sure wuh my mother was doing but she was not paying attention so by the time everybody holla, “jump!” and hop off the truck she was still on, and the fear start to pump through she veins.

Dis time now everybody scared ’cause if anything happen to Fena nobody can’t go home. “Jump, jump!” was all that could be heard. my girl now tek a deep breath, jump and land as graceful as a one-legged walrus on ice skates. If you doubt me, ask me. When Fena get up, all she knees scrape way and everybody frighten ’cause dem know that it was gonna be blows.

Anyhow, de little rascals came up with a plan; everybody went home as normal but Fena sneak in and hide. Little did they know that gran had super powers and could smell de dishonesty before she step through the door. She tek one look around de house and ask, “where Fena?”

When Fena come out, gran call in a conference with all involved. That time now everybody was as nervous as de minorities when Trump win de election, ’cause dem know licks was coming across de Himalayas wit de fury of Zeus and the power of Goku.

When gran was finished unleashing the iron fist, they all learned not to disobey rules but, mostly, never leave family behind.


• Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy.
Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com


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