• Today
    December 16

  • 06:54 AM

YUH GAWH BE KIDDIN’: Fashion trends ain’t fuh everybody

TONI-ANN JOHNSON,

Added 12 April 2017

bloc-yuh-gawh-be

YOU, FASHION IS A serious ting yuh, cause wuh look good to you ain’t gine look good to me and vice versa. Then dum got something that wouldn’t look good to nuhbody at all, further more even Stevie Wonder would look at it and don’t like it.

I had was to traverse through town this week on more than one occasion and as usual it was the most entertaining thing ever.

I see a man in a sweatsuit which is appropriately named causin’ it did mek out of that thick cotton material, he had on the shirt and pants.

All I telling myself is that he was about one degree celsius away from a heatstroke. And elfin yuh think that bad, the sweatsuit had on every emoji yuh could find in WhatsApp. If you doubt me ask me. I din know if to laugh or ask he if he want a glass of water, all I coulda do was fix the confused look on my face so he couldn’t see it.

Eyebrow tragedies

But you see eyebrows, dem is some funny things cause you don’t realise how much they add to your overall features until dem cut bad or until dem gone. I pass a woman and I had was to do a triple take causin’ her eyebrows looked like and eyebrow, singular. As in it did look like one.

De woman had de eyebrows line up pretty pretty and colour in, den she had dem fade till dem meet de centre with only a space as thin as A4 paper between them.

I almost ask she fuh an autograph too cause at first glance she near pass fuh Bert from Sesame Street. Now I ain’t saying unibrow bad… all I am saying is that I can’t believe she purposely put hers so.

The last ting that had me confused was when I see dis whole nincompoop dress in all black like a ninja. That time now de person had on a long black gym pants, black polo shirt and black sneakers. See dem walking through town now like dem navigating the Sahara desert.

Who in dem right mind does purposely put on all black in dis midnight sun we does got when de day come? Who was dis complete buffoon in al black? Me!

Only thing I din do was pass out as I made my way through de town. I could laugh at that now but that was a serious heat, further more I think I loss a few pounds in that one day. That goes to show, when you laughing at somebody remember that you aren’t perfect either.

Toni Johnson is an actress versed in the area of comedy. Email: toniann.johnson@gmail.com

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