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Why some women stay in abusive relationships
Published on: 9/27/2009.
PSYCHOLOGISTS believe women stay in abusive relationships due to a phenomenon known as battered woman syndrome where a woman believes she cannot leave the abusive situation.
It describes a pattern of psychological and behavioural symptoms found in women living in abusive relationships.
There are four general characteristics of the syndrome:
The woman believes that the violence was her fault;
She has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere;
She fears for her life and/or her children's lives;
She has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.
Chairman of the SAVE Foundation Inc, Liesel Daisley, told the SUNDAY SUN more women, and men for that matter, were coming forward and talking about their abuse.
Her foundation launched a support group in July this year for victims of all forms of abuse.
Daisley said there was no difference between the characteristics of abusive men and abusive women. She said they were all motivated by jealousy, insecurity and the need for power.
"As it relates to men, they are coming forward more and more. They are willing to talk about their abuse more openly than before. Unfortunately, people will stigmatise them. They rather talk about it in private than in a support group like the women.
And apparently, domestic abuse knows no social strata.
"As far as it relates to women, you are seeing more women are talking about it. More and more women who are considered high society women are talking about their abuse.
"A lot of them are still in the situation but are afraid to leave because of the lifestyle or because they want to keep the family together. They are less willing to come out and speak about it though," said the chairman.
The support group meets once a month and psychologists are brought in to help victims cope.
"We plan to bring in a lawyer also to help people with any legal issue they may have. A lot of the women there have legal issues, financial issues. Some are divorcees running households on their own for the first time with children to support," said Daisley.
The group's next meeting is tomorrow at 7 p.m. at the Bureau of Gender Affairs, Keith Bourne Complex, Belmont Road, St Michael. (MR)
4 comment found!
abusive relationships : 9/27/2009
Abuse will not stop as long as people fail to understand oneanother. Abuse among man/woman husband/wife even families are very much in this world. when people stop expecting too much from each other or think that you have to give a person the whole world is only whem we might see change. some people will open themslves to abuse because of the things they go after, Those people that opened themselves to being abuse must stop thinking that the only way they can survive is be dependent, there's a lot of people who don't think that they can make it unless they get involved with someone. when you find this expect down the road to be abused. Abuse does not come only in beatings, but in many other forms within the home inviroment also in public by fist or tongue however it comes it's abuse. we have to love others just as we love ourselves, and do unto others as we would love for ourselves.
Why some women stay in abusive relationships : 9/27/2009
People also stay because they think this is just a stormy patch in the relationship. As marriage vows state "for better or for worse". I don't think that everyone realises verbal abuse as what it is. Name calling, putting down an individual, criticising their every move or comment. I think people mistake this for the fact that the person has just had a bad day. But love does not hurt in this way and I would question whether the individual loves me or hates me. It can start subtley and escalate into physical abuse. Scapegoating also takes the same form and is usually a group against an individual, this happens in families, where one person is constantly blamed for any and everything and things that the group even makes up and then finally the person is ostracised from the family.
Abuse : 9/27/2009
No one should be abuse. The problem is that fear comes in and they think they would never make it. Then they say they are staying because of the children.Well the Bible say fear not. Put you faith in God.My GOD would supply all you need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Put it in the hansds of God and step out in faith and do what you have to do. Bajan 48 Arkansas
THE TIME FOR CHANGE IS NOW : 9/27/2009
Lately your paper has been focussing on domestic violence, and today you touched on this important debate which is long overdue, and it is hope that everyone will take this, and the issue of bulling very seriously. Your article touched on differnt reasons why women/men remain in abusive relationships, and l trust you will have a segment later on why men/women abuse their partners. As a psychologist l will not expound on the reasons you gave, but l will add that those that find themselves in abusive relationships begin focussing on their own experiences, understand that they have personal power, that there are consequences (they must act on these consequences) of staying in these relationships, that they respond with impact to their situation." What is missing from the statements of your support group is, protection of the victims of abusers. (Victims are forced to stay in their abusive environment when they are fighting their abusers). Like bullying, protection of victims, aggressive and enforceable actions must be taken immediately to avoid loss of lives. Your paper should be commended for bring these issues to the foreront. It is up to authorities to make the next/right move. Law Enforcement have failed miserably in Barbados due to men's traditional attitude to women. Support groups are fine but the time has come for Barbados to come of age, for the government to implement stricter laws for today's society.
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