I CONFESS: Stupid mistake led to my disgrace

WE ALL HAVE DONE something stupid that we regret at some time in our lives. For me, it was lying about the paternity of my child to get a man I adore to marry me.

I did it because back then a woman was considered slack for getting a child out of wedlock.

The lie was easy to get away with because I used to talk to him - let's call him L - a lot. We were always together at church and Sunday school. So people knew we liked each other.

The truth was, while I liked him a lot I never thought he would ever marry me as he was from a well-off family, and I came from a poor one.

L's future was set in that he had family in England and was planning to go there after school to study to be a lawyer. As for me, all I could hope for was a job in Government as a clerk or if I was really fortunate, a teacher.

So when I went out with a friend of ours and we were intimate, and then missed my period, I decided to entice L to have sex with me so I could blame him if it turned out that I was pregnant. I imagined that his family would allow us to marry and I would go with him to England, and after that I would have a great life.

L and I did have sex, but a month later when I told him I was pregnant and asked him what we were going to do, he said he would deny it. And true to his word, he told his parents he was not responsible.

So there I was getting bigger and causing my family shame, while L's parents hustled him out of the island to avoid anymore talk. Now the other guy who I was pregnant for said he would take responsibility for doing it, but I did not want him to because, like me, he was from a poor family and could offer me nothing. So I rejected him, and about a year later he went off to England too.

To make a long story short, both men I was intimate with were out of the country and hated me. I had to leave my parents' house as I had disgraced them. And my son grew up always wanting to know who his father was. When he became a man and I finally told him the truth, he too resented what I did.

That lie was the biggest mistake of my life and I regret it to this day. That showed me that God really is not sleeping.

* You, too, can relate the biggest mistake or regret in your life by sending your story to sankaprice@nationnews.com or calling 262-5986.