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'Young boy' full of love
The beaming bride and groom: Joseph and his younger bride Undine on their wedding day in August.
Published on: 11/13/2009.
by MELISSA ROLLOCK
THEY CALL HIM "young boy" and with good reason.
At 94 years old, Joseph Graham has more energy than some a fraction of his age. Whenever you look around, he's doing something - when the retired baker/cook is not in the kitchen over a simmering pot or peering into an oven, he's driving himself around or doting over his new bride.
Yes, Joseph is also doing what people a fraction of his age do - falling in love.
He tied the knot with 70-year-old Undine Hazelwood, a retired nurse, in August at the Dalkeith Methodist Church, Dalkeith, St Michael, where they both worship. The ceremony was followed by a reception at the Casa Grande Hotel & Resort, Oldbury, St Philip. They only invited 14 people, but the church was packed, he told the WEEKEND NATION.
"People just turned up [at the church] and brought their own food. After the ceremony, we went on to the hotel where we had the reception for the 14 invited guests," said Joseph.
This is his fourth marriage and Undine's second.
The proposal wasn't one you would find in any romance novel or watch on any soap opera - it was pretty frank and straight to the point. The courtship was fast even by Usain Bolt's standards, but Joseph will tell you that there is no time frame on love.
He and his wife were friends for seven years before getting married. They met at church and developed a bond of trust. She is vice-president of the women's fellowship there while Joseph, who called himself "an honorary member" of the Women's Fellowship, is also a member of the Men's Fellowship and plays the harmonica during services and at special events.
As he tells it, he and Undine were attending a funeral when a little white lie uncovered their true feelings for each other.
"It happened through a lie I told. We went to a funeral service and I sat in the back of the church. The usher came to me and asked me if the lady next to me was my wife and I said yes.
"I went home and it worried me all night. I asked [Undine] if she heard what I said at the funeral and she laughed and told me yes. I asked her what she thought about it and she said it was up to me. I went to a reverend, he arranged and in four days it was done," Joseph said matter-of-factly.
"We were just friends. If she heard me cough, she would bring something and give me to soothe it and if I needed to go to the doctor, she would know which one to take me to. I said to myself, I can't let her go."
Joseph, a returning national, pointed out that he never imagined he would've taken a fourth wife. It's just the hand that life dealt him, but he has no regrets.
When he married his first love Brunette, the mother of his five children - three boys and two girls - he thought it would be forever. Unfortunately, she passed away in 1962, after 24 years of marriage.
A year later, he found love again with his second wife Lolita. That union lasted seven years. She too died, making Joseph a widower for the second time.
He stayed single until 2004 when he met his third wife Avonda but that marriage broke down, only lasting two years. As far as he knows, she is still alive.
"I love being married; I enjoy it, yes. It is the best part of adult life I think," said the Barbados legionnaire who served in World War II.
Joseph operated a bakery and shop from his home in Water Street, Christ Church, but shut up shop in 1964 and migrated to the United States.
"I used to work 18- and 20-hour days as a baker and I just decided it was time to move on," he said.
He worked as a cook at an elderly home/hospital in New York before he retired and returned to Barbados in the 1980s.
Anyone who knows Joseph is aware that he doesn't stay in one place for too long; he is at his happiest when he is busy. He can also be heard on the Looking Back programme on one of the Caribbean Broadcasting Corporation's radio stations.
As for his energy, well, he'll tell you he was born with it.
"And I still have it up to now. I still drive and I go to the supermarket two or three times a week. I cook and bake still; right now, I doing some cou-cou but I turn off the pot because you came.
"Age shouldn't slow down anyone. I asked the Lord to help me know my end and the measure of my days that I might know how frail I am.
"Everybody calls me 'young boy'. I look this way because of my mind; I have a good mind. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Plus, in my days growing up, our food was different from nowadays.
"There were no chemicals in our food. Also, I come from a family of long-livers. My grandmother, my uncles, all of them died at 90-this and 90-that.
"I don't have any diabetes, high blood pressure, eye problems, nothing. I can drive without glasses and read without them. I even gave away a few pairs I had here," he said proudly.
Since his 90th birthday four years ago, he has kept the candle in the form of the number 9 from his cake and keeps adding the appropriate number to it as each year passes.
Thankfully, he has someone with whom he can share his twilight years.
"Undine is godly, spiritual, we enjoy each other. She's loving, caring, dutiful, chaste and pure. We haven't married for physical reasons; it's about companionship, I appreciate her and she appreciates me. It is not about the physical with us.
"As far as money is concerned, that is not an issue with us either because whatever I own is my children's and hers belong to her and her children. So you know it has to be love," he said.
Joseph offered some advice to young couples thinking about taking the plunge into holy matrimony.
"Both people must have the same kind of understanding; I'm no more than you, you're no more than me; I don't insult you and vice versa. And you must bear one another's burdens.
"Also, young couples must accept the Lord and His guidance. And don't [get married] overnight. I can afford to do that because I've got to the age . . . ," he said.
* melissawickham@nationnews.com
31 comment found!
Young boy full of love : 12/27/2009
When I Saw This Picture I Had To Look Twice Man You Dont Look A Day Older Than Your Sixties Keep Up The GOOD Works And What Ever That Both Of You Are Doing May GOD Bless Both Of You The Young One That Are Couples Should Take a Page Out Of His Book Born IN Barbados Living Canada Dec 27-09
: 11/20/2009
Take a good look at their faces. Don't they look youthful,alive and happy. They even look alike. God bless you both for may anniversaries to come.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL : 11/19/2009
Where do I begin to tell the world how great…..what a wonderful love story. Oh how I wish them years of happiness. Here’s a testimony that love and marriage are so ideal and that love and marriage can be for better or worst in sickness and in health.
Young Boy : 11/18/2009
Awhoa!! Gwaan Sugar Daddy! Peace & love to both of you. I love this story
FANTASTIC!! : 11/18/2009
First of all I can't believe that they are 94 and 71?! I can only pray that I look as good as them when I reach that age. They are two beautiful people and I wish them many years of happiness and love !!!
:-) : 11/17/2009
Simply elegant
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : 11/16/2009
i HAD TO PUT MY FACE UP CLOSE TO COMPUTER SCREEN TO REALLY GET A GOOD LOOK THE TWO SWEETHEARTS.HE DON'T LOOK HIS AGE AND SHE DON'T LOOK HER AGE EITHER.THEY LOOK GREAT.GOD IS SO GOOD.KEEP ON LOVING EACH OTHER, AND KEEP SERVING THE MASTER, AND WILL SUSTAIN THEE.THIS IS SO WONDERFUL TO SEE.I KNOW THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR ME."LOL" I LOVE THE TWO OF YOU.AND I PRAY THAT GOD WILL CONTINUE TO BLESS AND KEEP YOU WELL.LAUGH PLENTY AND HAVE LOTS OF FUN.ALL I CAN SAY IS HALLELUA. AND THANK YOU JESUS. BAJAN LIVING IN NY.
OLD TIME LOVERS"RULE" : 11/16/2009
I BETTER OFF LOOKING FOR A OLDER MAN CAUSE THE YOUNG MEN STILL NEED LESSON ON HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A WOMAN" BETTER BE A OLD MANS DARLING THAN A YOUNG BOY SLAVE" THIS IS A GREAT LOVE STORY AND I WISH BOTH OF THEM THE BEST.OPRAH WOULD HAVE LOVE THIS ONE
OLD TIME LOVERS"RULE" : 11/16/2009
I BETTER LOOK OFF LOOKING FOR A OLDER MAN CAUSE THE YOUNG MEN STILL NEED LESSON ON HOW TO TAKE CARE OF A WOMAN" BETTER BE A OLD MANS DARLING THAN A YOUNG BOY SLAVE" THIS IS A GREAT LOVE STORY AND I WISH BOTH OF THEM THE BEST.OPRAH WOULD HAVE LOVE THIS ONE
Young Boy : 11/15/2009
This is a wonderful story! Congratulations to Joseph and Undine, I wish them every happiness in the future.
'Young Boy' full of love : 11/15/2009
Congratulations to the happy couple. Are you sure the bride is 70 yrs old? Mrs. Graham, you do not look a day over 50!!
young boy : 11/15/2009
all i can say hope u dont thake another one let that be the last marriage is anice thing but half is not lasting to day because some is all about money no love or good living i was marry for 22year and me and my husband was togeather5yearbefore we marry so in all 27years thank god
FANTASTIC YOUNG BOY!! : 11/14/2009
Young Boy and your beautiful wife, this is a wonderful and positive story! Thanks to our Heavenly Father for bringing you two together. Age is just a number! It's great to see you're in good health, and the right frame of mind. May our Heavenly Father continues to bless you and your beautiful wife, keep you both healthy, and always keep you both together. You're still cooking cou-cou? Lol!! That is great! I wish I could have some now. God bless you both! Marilyn Ross-Tbeur
: 11/14/2009
He does not look 94 or she does not look 70 good luck to them to looking at that picture they both look years younger what great genes they both have.
SWEET!! : 11/14/2009
This is sooo sweet!
I can't give up hope now : 11/14/2009
You sir could teach younger men a lot about love and bravery. You could have shut down and closed your heart after losing two wives to death and one to circumstances, but you kept living and loving and it has paid off. You seem to live by the motto,"love truly, deeply, and freely, you might get hurt sometimes, but when it works you forget the hurt you once felt." I have just ended a relationship with a man of 40 yrs who was so afraid to get hurt that he hurt me instead and you at 94 after losing three wives were still brave enough to keep loving!! Does he have a single son, around 40, with the same attitude? ;)
Young love : 11/14/2009
Well well well, this is one of the most beautiful stories I have heard in a long time. I hope that everything will work out for this couple. Joseph you don't look a day over 60 and your new wife looks remarkably young. Whatever you two are doing must be good, so keep it up, and may God continue to bless you all for a very long time. You are a good example for todays youth, they could learn a thing or two from you. Looking on in Toronto
glory : 11/14/2009
Glory be to god
This is a beautiful story! : 11/13/2009
i am so glad for the happy couple, i hope that they will have many happy and healthy years together. blessings...
YOUNG BOY : 11/13/2009
What a beautiful picture & couple. Young boy you don't look a day old. Gods blessings on you both. Congrats.
Love : 11/13/2009
GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS U BOTH
Love affair : 11/13/2009
Love makes the world go around not money ,them two look real Goodddddddd.
: 11/13/2009
CONGRATS AND MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS U BOTH
Hope : 11/13/2009
Now those who thought they are too old to marry need to think again. This couple is more than prove that age is only a number and there is hope for all those unmarried persons. So smile and rejoice because your time will come too.
All about love : 11/13/2009
Concrats, I am happy for you both it is all about love and understanding.I wish you long and happy life together.
: 11/13/2009
I you both all the blessings in the world MelB-Hollywood-FL
: 11/13/2009
very good
: 11/13/2009
Wonderful!! I don't know that I could do it but if it works for them, hey way to go.
'young boy' : 11/13/2009
This story made me smile, it's nice to be able to find love and companionship at that age. 'Young boy' is truly blessed especially with good health and longevity,I pray that he and his wife continue to serve God for the rest of their days. CC
YOUNG BOY : 11/13/2009
GOD bless I am 73 and Married to a Bajan for 28 years oh HAPPY DAY !!!!!!!
Young Boy!! : 11/13/2009
Go for it Young Boy! Talk your talk! Particularly how you both are involved in your Church and do not leave out your children. God bless you both! Hip Hip!
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